Yami Motou had been in Domino High School for three weeks. So far, she'd had seven detentions. Four were for the blue coat, until the principal realized she wasn't going to budge on that issue and washed his hands of the whole affair. One was for accidentally breaking another classmate's lamp in shop class when she and Joey were reenacting the shinobi test from that month's issue of "Naruto". One was for skipping math to smoke with Joey in the quad. And one was for telling Ms. Chono that she wore too much makeup.
Yami went to close the box, looking sheepish, but Tristan snatched it out of her hands. "No, it's perfect! I want this!" But his excitement was short-lived. "But what should I write? I've never written a love letter..."
Tristan's amber eyes scanned the shop, and suddenly landed on Yami. His thoughts seemed to be broadcast like subtitles beneath his face. Yami=chick=GIRL!
"Yami--you write it for me!"Tristan suddenly grabbed Yami's hand and held it to his chest, surprising the tiny brunette. "Feel that, Yami? Feel how hard it beats! I need you to take this beat and put it into words! You're a girl, and you'll write something she'll like!"
Yami hopped off the counter, then turned to Joey and punched him in the arm. "Idiot! What do *I* know about love letters?"
Joey coughed. "Whoa! Relax! I'll help you, Yami!"
"You damn well better," she said, heading up the stairs to her room. "If this doesn't work, Tristan'll hate me!"
"Don't worry!" Joey crowed, following her. "You've got Joey Wheeler, the master of romance, working with ya!"
Sugoroku roared at Yami's response. "We're trying to make her swoon, Joey, not puke."
"Look at 'im!" Joey chortled. "He can't take it!"
"He must be sweating bullets," Yami snickered, watching Tristan smooth his hair for the fiftieth time.
Yami and Joey amused themselves for the next fifteen minutes watching Tristan squirm every time Miho turned his way.
"This is great!" Joey exulted. "Everything's going according to plan!"
"...except that she's not noticing the puzzle," Yami added with dismay.
Joey blinked. "Oh. Right."
Joey essentially thought of her as "one of the boys", and waited patiently while she shopped at Express before dragging her to the comic book shop every time they went to the mall, but to Tristan she was still a delicate, fragile little girl.
Yami didn't blame him. Tristan was tall and dark, his mahogany eyes slanted and secretive. His hair was shaved so high on either side that all that was left was stubble, and he used more gel on the top than was probably healthy. All he needed was a flashing sign above his head that read "Bad Ass".
Following Joey, Tristan and Yami looked up in surprise at a neon sign. An electric blue scorpion blinked and curled around the edge of the sign, while neon letters proclaimed "Junky Scorpion" in bright orange.
"They've gotta have what I'm looking for!" Joey cheered, running into the shop.
"I don't like this," Yami murmured she and Tristan followed Joey.
"A shoe store?" Yami asked, looking around at shelves of sneakers.
"Yeah, what'd you think we were coming for?" Joey asked.
"Drugs?" Yami asked, as Tristan said, "I was gonna have to go with drugs, Joe."
The shopkeeper smirked. "I'd be careful if I were you...some gang calling themselves Muscle Hunters is going around stealing rare shoes."
"Rare shoes?" Yami said. "No way..."
"I can handle anything!" Joey proclaimed, marching out the door. Well, skipping out the door.
"Oh man." Tristan buried his face in his hands. "He has to stop that."
Yami tried not to cringe. "Even little kids don't skip like that..."
"Let me do the talking," Joey said, leading the way. "You guys just stay in the background and look menacing."
"Uhh...Joey?" Yami asked. She didn't need to finish the sentence.
Joey rethought his words. "Okay. Tristan, you stay in the background and look menacing. Yami, you...you glare as hard as you can."
"Yeah, like that!" Joey coached, and Yami sighed and shook her head.
Quick as a striking snake, Yami reached out and seized the boy by his ski hat, slamming his head down onto the machine's console. The screen blinked "Game Over, Insert Coin" over and over again. Groaning, he lifted his head, blood flowing down his face. "You broge my node!"
"The chick's hurting him!" another yelled, starting out of his chair.
Joey and Tristan were equally stunned, but they were smart enough not to say, Golly gee whiz, how'd she do that in front of the bad guys?
"Um, feel free to jump in at any time, guys," Yami prompted.
"Oh, right!" Joey and Tristan each took a swing at the other punks, as if it had been choreographed. This time it was the gang that was unprepared. Joey in particular took delight in kicking them in the face with his dirty socks, a fate Yami and Tristan wouldn't have wished on their worst enemy.
"Yeah, you did pretty good today," Tristan said, offering his hands to the still-seated Yami. Pulling her to her feet, he couldn't resist adding, "Shortcake!"
Yami punched him in the shoulder. "You are gonna get such a beating."
"Yeah, next time," Joey said, "only there isn't gonna be a next time, since these shoes are never leaving my feet!" He jogged ahead, leaving behind an embarrassed Yami and
Tristan."He's so sleeping with those shoes on tonight," Tristan sighed, shaking his
head."It could be worse," Yami said. "He could be skipping."
"Kaiba?" Yami whispered to Joey as she sat down in front of him. "As in, KaibaCorp?"
"As in CEO," Kaiba answered, having overheard. "You might want to think twice before throwing any more rocks."
Yami pouted, turning towards the front. "I can't believe I missed."
Kaiba was livid. A New Found Glory. He'd missed their only local concert six months ago because he'd had too much work to do. He hoped Yami had missed it as well, just for spite's sake. Luckily Yami was decorating her hands with ankhs and swirls and tiny hearts, effectively negating the angsty lyrics, which made Kaiba feel better.
"Turned my hand green in chem." Joey waved a stained hand at Sugoroku. "Check it out, Gramps."
Sugoroku grinned. "A definite improvement over last week's pink!"
"You're telling me!" Joey chuckled, slapping the old man a high-five.
"Joey could be dying, and he'd still come in to school," Tristan said, shaking his head. "No, something's wrong. Will you come with me to his place after school? I know where he lives."
"Sure," Yami said, patting the tall boy's arm gently. She had never seen Tristan so worried—his dark eyes glittered and his stance was closed-off. "Don't worry, Tris. We'll get to the bottom of this."
"Right now we've got bigger problems," Tristan grumped, folding his arms as the bell rang for homeroom. "How are we going to reenact this month's Naruto in chem with only two shinobi?..."
A startling crash didn’t faze the students of 12:10 chemistry, although Dr. Hanson was jumping out of her skin every five minutes. The death toll so far: two beakers, a test tube, a shattered stirring wand, and a puddle of melted metal that had once been part of Tristan’s project for shop class. The rest of Tristan’s shop project was currently adorning Yami’s head as she played Sasuke for the second month in a row.
“ ‘Now he has a plan?’ “ She snorted. “ ‘Hmf...so, it’s time for some teamwork?’ “
Joey, as Naruto, picked up his cue right away, stamping his foot on his lab station. “ ‘Ok! Let’s get busy!’ ”
All Zabuza had had to do for the last three pages of the manga was glare, so it was okay for Tristan to break character to smile at his friends. “Now this is more like it.”
Joey dropped Yami, who landed with a thud. “Oof!”
It was Tristan’s turn to be lifted by his collar and shaken. “Who’re ya calling
scared?”“You!” was Tristan’s answer, trying to break Joey’s hold. “Only a girly man would be afraid of curses!”
“That’s it!” Joey roared.
“Boys!” Yami cried, ducking under Joey’s raised arm to fish in his pocket. “If you don’t stop fighting, I won’t share my cigarettes.” Taking the Lucky Strikes hostage, she retreated across the hallway.
“We’ll be good,” both boys immediately vowed, letting go of each other.
Sugoroku started to reply, but Kanekura’s attention was immediately diverted to Yami. “And you must be Cleopatra,” he joked with a big, hard smile.
“You must be blind,” Yami answered coolly, arching a dark brow.
“That’s it, make fun. Fine. Go see the mummy. Go get cursed.” Joey folded his arms
Yoshimori roared “There’s no such thing as curses!”
“See, I told you, Joey!” Tristan said.
“You want a rosary or something?” Joey offered, still refusing to go near the mummy. Sugoroku roared.
"Had enough?" Shadi asked, smirking. "You are beginning to impress me."
"I couldn't be happier," Dark Yami muttered, cheek pressed to the concrete, eyes fluttering closed. "Congratulate me, I've impressed the psycho."
Joey was also confused, but he was looking at Yami. Something about her seemed…a little different…tonight…
He reached a hand to his best friend’s shoulder. “Hey, Yami? You okay?”
Yami turned and fixed those endless crimson eyes on him, but before she could answer, Sugoroku interrupted cheerfully.
“Why don’t we all go out to eat? I’ll buy.”
And with that, Yami was herself again. She jumped high in the air and cheered.
“Booyaka!!”Joey chuckled, shaking his blond head at himself. Nah. Same old Yami.
Mokuba leered at Yami. "I'm going to take you someplace really special! Aren't you excited?"
Yami snickered. "Sorry, kid. You're not my type."
"Don't you see?" Mokuba said, sitting in the chair across from Yami. "You have to play Capsule Monster Chess with me!"
"Is this supposed to be some kind of torture?" Yami asked warily, eyeing the board. "I like games."
"What is with this girl?" one kid asked. "Is it me, or is she actually enjoying this?"
Yami looked over at him, crossing one leg over the other. "Only big wusses and lesser wimps would be afraid of kids your size."
The Weaker Sex, redwolfhowl
You think I like having a kleptomaniac yami?! Ryou huffed at Bakura from the back of his head, I really got the short end of the yami stick. Yugi gets a leather-clad pharaoh, and Marik gets a sexy super-saiyan look-alike, what do I get? A tomb robber with bangs that look like big pointed bunny ears!
Bakura was about to counter Ryou's attack with the infallible argument that, no, his hair did NOT look like bunny ears, it FAR more closely resembled demonic horns, when he paused and blinked. "...Did you just call Marik's yami sexy?" ...no... you're hearing things.
He glanced over at the kitchen, then back at his former hikari, who was starting to fall asleep again. "Vessel!"
"Snhuhwah?" Ryou blinked his eyes open.
"Take me to the kitchen."
"I'm not your vessel!"
"Well, what do you want me to call you?!"
"Try... I don't know... my name?"
"Feh! I have a name for you. Girlyboy, take me to the kitchen!"
"Take yourself, bunny-ears."
"They're NOT bunny-ears! They're HORNS OF EVIL!"
"Yeah... but... feh." Bakura could find no counter-argument, and grumbled. "Fine. You can have a small piece."
"I should get at least half of the pizza!"
"A half and a quarter."
"Fine then, that sounds reason- HEY!"
Ooh, are we going to go back to trying to kill the pharaoh? Take over the world? Kill someone else? Kick a puppy? His yami asked hopefully.
"No... something worse... much worse." Marik set the head of the rod against his palm, smirking.
Impatient, Yami Marik just peeked into his hikari's side of the brain to see what he had in mind, before rolling his eyes. Oh, jeeze. Marik, match-making does NOT qualify as evil, under any circumstances.
"Nooo..." Marik lowered his voice and slid an arm around Ryou's shoulders conspiratorially, "I mean he needs you." The Egyptian tapped the confused ex-hikari's chest with the rod.
"Wh... what do you mean?" Ryou asked, slightly uneasy at the fact a bipolar Egyptian with far too much jewelry was hanging off his shoulder.
"What's that?" Bakura wondered, tugging on a corner of the paper that stuck out from beneath Ryou's folded arms.
"Nothing!" Ryou insisted in a squeaky voice, blushing furiously.
"Then why are you squeaking and going red in the face?" Bakura snorted incredulously, poking Ryou's nearest cheek. The British boy let out another girly sound of surprise and buried his face in his folded arms, hoping to conceal his flushed cheeks. Only his large eyes remained visible, and they stared over at Bakura through a veil of white bangs, looking as innocent as possible. And with Ryou, that was insanely innocent.
The thief didn't really know what to make of the sight, and a faint blush finally graced his cheeks when he realized he was still hugging the former hikari with one arm, however roughly.
"Well, isn't this wonderful," Bakura grumbled sardonically, looking around for some alternate means of escape.
He was distracted, however, when a tiny little voice in the back of his mind had to admit that it was kind of wonderful...
"What?! No! Get out of my head, you non-evil voice! Argh!" He clutched his temple with his free hand, shaking his head wildly. It just kukuku'd in a menacing yet unevil way.
Something shiny shot through the air, and the paper was torn out of the writer's hands. It fluttered to the ground in two pieces, while something bladed and gold embedded itself into the ground with a shunk, still quivering as the scraps of paper fluttered down around it.
It was the Millennium Rod.
Bakura and Ryou glanced up with wide eyes. There, atop a nearby building, silhouetted by the sun, a figure stood with his arms akimbo.
"Tuxedo Mask!" Ryou gasped happily.
Bakura gave him a funny look. "No, I think that's just Marik."
"...oh." Ryou sounded disappointed.
"Another one!" One of the shadowy girls hissed, "Quick, someone write a kinky lemon involving him, his dad, and a donkey costume!"
"Your disturbing yet strangely arousing erotic stories have no effect on me, fangirls!" Marik laughed victoriously, leaping to the ground gracefully. He twirled dramatically, his blonde locks billowing behind him. "You have defiled the good name of fanfiction with your twisted stories! And now, in the name of all that is gay and pure, I will punish you!" His rod flew back to his hand, and he pointed it at them, posing with his fingers in a 'v' shape in front of his forehead. "RAINBOW YAOI WARM AND FUZZY BEAM BLAST!"
Ryou and Bakura both nodded eagerly and started off. Marik remained where he stood for a moment, and a fiendish smile spread across his face once they had their backs turned.
Those fools! Now that I've won their trust, there will be nothing stopping me from my goal! Once the next phase of my plan is complete, victory will be mine! All I have to do is lure them into the perfect spot, the final arena, the...
His yami took notice of his evil plotting and rolled his eyes. You're just taking them to the mall, Marik.
Oh, shush! There can be plenty of evil things to do at the mall!
Can we visit the baby store this time, at least? Yami Malik wondered hopefully.
"If you're such an expert, then, what do you recommend?" Bakura snapped at the Egyptian, folding his arms, but this elicited nothing from Marik other than a sly smile.
"Why, I'm glad you asked..." Something wicked gleamed in Marik's lavender eyes, and Bakura quietly wondered if they weren't better off with the fangirls. They walked in ominous silence.
Shining black, sleeveless leather hugged his chest like a friendly acquaintance (far too friendly, in Bakura's opinion). His chin touched the cold, menacing spikes of a collar that had not been there before, and leather straps, held together with a ring in the center, formed an 'X' over his torso. Finger-less, spike-studded leather gloves that came up to his shoulder restricted his movement, and his nails had been made pointed and painted black. His black PVC pants were a very shiny second skin, and boots with a dizzying amount of straps and buckles came up to his knees. And what skin wasn't covered with black leather, there was fishnet instead...
He felt like crying, but that required breathing.
I feel like a fool!" Ryou protested, and Marik shook his head.
"Then, my friend, you just have to be more like moi." Marik stepped away, whirling around, "Look at me! I spend ungodly amounts of time perfecting my hair, my wardrobe, my coordinating my jewelry, and because of that, I feel confident! I feel attractive! I... I feel..."
As Marik became caught up in himself, Ryou, Bakura, and Yalik looked around in confusion as music started up out of nowhere.
"I feel pretty!" Marik shrugged his shoulders as he burst into song, tossing his glimmering platinum blonde locks into the wind, which provided by a fan - the electronic kind, mind you - "Oh so pretty! I feel pretty, and witty and gaaaay!" He pirouetted around Ryou, back to the yamis, coming to a stop with a smug expression on his face, "And I pity, any girl who isn't me today. "
The two boys were stunned into silence, while the incarnation of loathing and angst just set his hand to his forehead and groaned. "Not again..."
"Wow... Uh... I hardly recognized you with those new clothes, Ryou," Yugi scratched the back of his head sheepishly, a blush coloring his cheeks for reasons Ryou would rather not know about.
"One of my finer works," Marik nodded smugly, standing up and brushing off his stylish cargo pants.
"I gotta hand it to Marik, he did a good job," Joey agreed, and Tristan pushed the blonde out of the way.
"Wanna ride on my back, Ryou?" He asked eagerly, and Ryou whimpered as the other teenagers cornered him.
There was a loud ahem from behind Ryou, and the British boy felt a pair of hands on his shoulders, clutching him almost... possessively? Ryou looked up, and saw his former yami shooting death-glares at the other boys. Bakura stepped in front of Ryou, pushing the smaller boy to the back, "If you're done oogling my landlord, Ryou and I are going home."
In response, the three boys simply turned their oogling eyes onto Bakura instead - with Ryou standing in front of him, they hadn't been able to see his fetish-goth getup.
"I'm sure I could fit both of you back there," Tristan amended his offer, grinning stupidly, while Yugi simply stared blankly. Yami possessed the short boy, his metaphorical hackles rising.
"Yes, that was silly," Bakura agreed, raising his eyebrow and looking confused when a vein appeared in Ryou's forehead. "Look, we'll just do what we did this morning, you sand just outside the bathroom door and I'll try and get these things off... Maybe if I slicked myself up with soap..." He pondered aloud, and his careless words caused a strange expression to flit across Ryou's face, making his rage falter for a moment as it was replaced by something far dirtier.
It's enough for this restless warrior, just to be with you...
Bakura's heartbeat started to rise for reasons he couldn't pinpoint, but more than likely had something to do with the teary-eyed, beautiful little guy shaking beside him, who's slightly parted lips looked awfully inviting at the moment...
Caaaaaaan you feeeeeel the looooooooooooooooooooooove tooniiiiii - what the?! Get out of here, you stupid cat! OW! Dammit!
Both Bakura and Ryou blinked stupidly as the piano music became frantic and random, like something was running down the keys. The jarring music broke Bakura out of his trance.
"What the hell?!" He stalked over to the window and yanked it open.
Marik was sitting in the alley beside their house, at the bench of a grand piano he had pulled into the small space using powers not of this world, trying desperately to shoo a stray cat away.
Bast sighed, switching her tail, "I hope so. They'd be so damn cute together," she said, sitting back down beside the pool, her companions nodding eagerly.
Set walked by at that moment, looking at the deities eagerly watching the trials and tribulations of the bishonen in question, and rolled his eyes.
"Gods," he snorted ironically, "You guys need a life."
They were not brought together and made as one by all the power vested in a millennia-old magical item, or the strange forces of the Shadow Games, or even fate or destiny. No; only by swapping saliva.
Yugi and Yami obviously did it. Marik had inferred that he and Yalik shared a special, spiritual, face-sucking bond of their own. Ryou glanced over at Bakura furtively. Was his own yami aware of this unspoken rule? Were they doing something wrong by not making out? Had they inadvertently thrown the universe into unbalance and unrest? Torn a rip in the fabric of the space-time continuum? Would prolonged celibacy bring about the apocalypse? Abstinence was suppose to be the safest form of sex, but clearly such was not the case if it would cast the known world into veritable chaos. Ryou imagined buildings catching aflame, people running and screaming in the streets, the earth splitting apart, the heavens themselves opening to rain fiery doom upon hapless mortals everywhere, all simply because he had not properly snogged his yami.
With this cataclysmic vision playing out in his head, Ryou was sorely tempted to pin Bakura and rectify the situation at once, for the good of humanity. The fate of the world itself could rest on whether or not he fondled the thief on a regular basis.
Or maybe he just wanted an excuse to commit aggravated homosexual assault against his attractive companion.
Make like a banana, Ochodre
Malik nodded and clapped his hands gleefully. The last time he did that half the school was burned down.
Marik and Malik blinked simultaneously before looking at each other questioningly and then back at me, both putting fingers to their chests.
Those two are really, really creepy together.
“The Millennium Necklace!” I gasped.
Malik nodded, still grinning, before putting it back.
“You stole it from Isis?!”
“Nah. I prefer the terminology ‘borrowed’. Stole makes us sound like common thieves.” He said with an indignant snort. “Besides, she must have known we were going to borrow it, so she obviously doesn’t mind.”
Good point. That woman is freaky beyond words.
My eyes must have narrowed or darkened or something because Malik hastily said:
“Wait! We had good intentions! I know that look in your eyes and it means bad and painful things for me.”
I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling a huge headache coming on. “The last time you had ‘good intentions’ I was kept in a cell overnight for harassing an officer.” I muttered darkly.
I felt a surge of anger hit me as I remembered the events of the past week, He had played with me, toyed with me, knowing damn well how I felt. He might not even feel the same way. He probably thinks it’s fun to mess with my emotions and use my body.
My eyes widened as I remembered some of the more…x-rated…things I had written.
…All of it. He had read all of it. The only thing I could keep from him, the only privacy I ever got and he fucking read it!
“Ready for revenge?” Malik purred, his eyes gleaming in a mischief that was mirrored his Yami’s eyes and I’m sure in my own as well.
Oh hell yes, I was definitely ready.
“Yami…your worst nightmare has come true.” I whispered, as if it were some kind of crime. I don’t doubt it was something of a promise he made to himself to never happen.
When the eyebrow remained raised I realized he wanted me to continue.
“You’re turning into Yami Yugi.”
Bakura let out a rather girlish shriek and ran upstairs, no doubt to the bathroom to wash himself clean or something.
Realizing I was still giggling I forced myself to stop, deciding I’d been spending way too much time around Malik.
I think this whole plotting thing has gone to my head. I’m becoming delusional.
Bakura made it appear as though I had stolen all his Shadow abilities, rid the world of weapons and forced him to be nice to Yami Yugi.
“LOOK AT THAT! SEE IT? DO YOU SEE WHAT TIME IT IS?! IT’S TOO EARLY!” I yelled, the last two words louder than the rest of my sentence.
Hmm, my father did once say something about me not being a morning person…
Think un-sexy thoughts, think un-sexy thoughts, think un-sexy thoughts…
Um…Pegasus and Mr. Mutou in a hot tub together…
Ew! That’s just wrong!
Sometimes I’m sickened by my own perversion.
I looked at the clothes and swallowed. To fight fire with fire I’ll need to look hot…so there was no escaping it, I was going to have to wear those clothes. I guess I’ll have to thank Yugi. I suppose I could do that while I was strangling him for getting rid of my previous wardrobe. I liked those clothes,
dammit!“I need to use the bathroom*, and you’re like a girl when it comes to getting ready.” Bakura said, picking up the ring and putting it over my head.
“Perfect.” He whispered, staring at me intently in the mirror.
Again with the girl thing. I’m not that feminine, am I?
Bakura swallowed a mouthful of pancakes and frowned. “What? Can’t I spend quality time with my hikari?”
I raised an eyebrow sceptically. Something was going on…
“You’ve never wanted to before.” I pointed out.
“Yeah, well…” Bakura mumbled, looking uncomfortable. “Now I want to. Is that a crime?”
“When it comes to you, it’s debatable.” I retorted, sticking my tongue out at him.
I jumped, startled, as aforementioned Yami stormed into the room, looking quite
livid.“That’s it!” He snapped. “We are going out, we’re going out now, AND WE ARE GOING TO HAVE FUN!” That said – more like shrieked – he promptly grabbed a hold of my arm and dragged me out of the door.
Hentai Ryou, Vada via cretino
Yugi fled as fast as he could from the one person he feared the most – Anzu Mazaki.
“Come back, Yugi! You can’t escape from me forever! We’re the friendliest of friends, and friends stick-” She screamed in her annoying voice before tripping over her feet and falling flat on her face.
“Keep runnin’, Yug’!” Jou yelled, “We’ll see ya later!”
‘Maybe now I know he isn’t a threat things will go back to normal pretty quickly.’ Yugi mused.
He looked at Yami, who was now talking to the person on the T.V and poking the
Yami scowled at himself. He knew he was blushing like a fool. He willed away the blush before Yugi came back into the room to see him less than composed. Which Yami was supposed to be at all times. It gave him an air of authority. Plus, it made him look cool. Yami cracked a grin at the thought.
Darkness, Light, Sugar and Pranks, Vada via cretino
Bakura was trying not to laugh, as his yami had just made a very amusing comment about the fact that Yugi was either really dense or deliberately trying to kill off Anzu's remaining brain cells.
Catching Kaiba, Saria-the-green-haired
“I’ll love you even if you are a lesbian!” He sobbed. More stares continued to settle on them as Katsu cringed. Yuugi, Anzu and Ryou just sweatdropped. Honda always acted like a complete idiot around girls.
‘DAMN HORMONES TO ETERNAL HELL!!!’ She decided to curse her ‘femininity’ in silence, as aloud would be not the best choice at that moment.
Katsuya 1/2, Ozark the Moonhead
He just had to have gotten carried away when he filled his boobs with air, didn’t he?
Lusty and Busty, Fenris5000
"I’m also running a search on every single conceivable way to keep you alive."
A bit too late for that, Kaiba. "I’m already dead, rich boy."
"No point. I won’t be able to sleep. Just lie there and try not to get any deader, alright?"
Yami Bakura’s watching us. "It’s quite interesting how you manhandle that one’s soul, Priest."
"What about it?" snarls Kaiba.
Seto’s a natural at it ‘cause he’s a freak. That’s what me and Yami think. Yuugi says we’re being mean. He doesn’t get that I mean ‘freak’ in the nicest possible way. I mean it like... like...
Okay, I’m just being mean. Seto Kaiba is a freak. Yami agrees with me.
I snort. Seto is not nice. He’ll never be nice. “Yeah, right.”
He opens his mouth, closes it, glares at me. Ever been glared at by a guy with glowing red eyes?
“So what’s a soul room?”
Yami blinks. “A room. For your soul.”
“I figured that out already.” I’m not that stupid.
Being Dead Ain't Easy, D.Draggy
Yugi was extremely reluctant to leave me on my own all day but gave in when I threatened to tie him up and get Seto to drag him there tied to the bumper of his car.
Naturally they were both surprised when Yugi told them what happening, particularly the reason to why I’ve gained a scary amount of weight. Well, Ryou was surprised. Tea said that Bakura started laughing maniacally to the extent that he was in tears in the sand. That’s one of the reasons I’m glad I didn’t go; I’m not sure my body could take the strain of me strangling the tomb-raider.
"Yami you idiot-"
"That was uncalled for," she huffed interrupting him.
"Those aren’t cramps! Those are bloody contractions!"
She blinked at him owlishly before nodding with a small ‘oh’.
Yugi had wisely pegged it with the excuse that he would wait for the others and guide them to the waiting room. In fact he was scared by the things that Yami had begun hissing, things that, although obviously in ancient Egyptian, sounded like curses and some of the finer profanity in existence at the time.
"We could have sold them," Bakura grumbled from where Ryou had sat him, the only instruction he had been given being not to move from that chair. Well, he followed it for a whole ten minutes so he could start ignoring his Light half about
now.Seto came over this morning briefly to ‘check in’ as he put it before heading off to work, which I thought was sweet but I’ll be stapled to the ground and having rodents consume my intestines before I admit that out loud
Seto just nodded his head and then apologized to me before asking where I’d learned such a strong right-hook. Cue a long conversation about the more ancient art-forms of combat and we agreed to have some more ‘physical’ duels once I was in suitable condition. It’s easy to guess how my imagination twisted that...
Seto had a moment of insanity and gave him his credit card for the day. I’m surprised it didn’t melt, particularly since Mai went with him.
"You don’t know why you’re upset, do you?"
"No! It’s bloody ridiculous! My front’s done in, my back’s done in, my insides are a wreck and I haven’t seen my feet for weeks but I hear they’re fat too so I think I have the right to be upset! Stupid pregnancy’s destroying my brain cells and I can’t believe I just said that!"
I’m starting to become rather fond of Seto’s younger brother now that he’s acting as my spy...
“Say that again and I will have you crucified with your own pens.”
“Hormones are making a return too then?”
“Watch it. That one looks to have a particularly sharp tip.”
My baby is a peanut. Mai, Yugi and I went for the scan two weeks ago that, quite disturbingly, showed us all a moving image of my inner organs. The doctor kindly pointed out child and, to my surprise, it was the shape of a peanut with some dark dots for eyes and some kind of tube running out of the center of it. Assured that that was normal and that it is growing fine, I am no longer quite so worried but if it looks like a kiwi-fruit next week I will get very upset.
Honda’s remaining firmly in my good books as he brings me strawberries, which I am rapidly becoming addicted to.
Staring at her in amazement and making a noise of surprised indignation, Yami stalked out shaking her head and hopped back down onto the pavement where Joey was smirking triumphantly.
"One damn word and I don’t care how much you’re helping, your head will go through that wall."
Shifting up a little in the tub, Seto looked curiously at the dark picture before looking up at Yami. "It looks like a peanut."
On the bright side, I should be able to start feeling the child’s movements at the end of this month, something that I am quite looking forward to. Yugi is excited as well, verging on hyperactivity about it. I’m not sure what the relationship between him and the child will be because of our less-than-usual bond. Uncle? Son? Admittedly the whole thing gives me a headache.
"Shut up Joey, or I will kill you."
"You know Yami, I think you’re one of only a few people I know who would make good on that."
Game Queen and Then Some, Borath
"Looking for beads," Yami said, calmly, rationally. Except that if he was doing what Yugi thought he was doing, "rational" was the last word to describe him.
"I am becoming," Yami announced cooly, "a 'hippie'."
"But-- See! You're sadistic! You can't be a hippie! They believe in peace, and love, and mind-altering substances!" Yugi latched on to his new argument.
"I believe in that. And if only everyone else did, too, my life would be so much easier. Just think about it! Seto Kaiba, and Yami Bakura, and Yami Malik, and Shadi and Noah and Pegasus-- just imagine how much easier our lives would be if, instead of making silly, ill-thought-out plans to take over the world, they had just sat at home, loving their families, working for world peace, and altering their minds?"
Yugi was lost in the vision for a moment. "You have no idea what a mind-altering substance is, do you?"
"For the love of God, Yami," Yugi said passionately, "whatever you're doing, whatever you're planning, let's please, please give it up and go home!"
"Home is where the heart is," Yami said serenely.
"Right now, my heart is in a dark alley beating you up," Yugi muttered, and was shocked at his belligerence.
"Nah-ah!" Yugi slung his backpack. "I am going to call my grandfather and let him know that, by some uncontemplatably improbable miracle, we survived the trip here. If you have any trouble with that, I will be very happy to take apart the Puzzle and throw it down twelve different storm drainsin twelve different townsin twelve different countries! Am I clear?"
"Yami, there is no way I can sleep out here in the street. For one, my seething hatred of you and your stupid ideas wouldn't let me. Second, it's not hygenic or safe. Third, my seething, boiling hatred of you"
Yugi sighed and dropped to the ground. "No. I do not want anything. I do not want to be here and am filled with ever-increasing hate."
"No," he said, "it just does this. We don't know why. I was, like, exposed to radiation or something, and all I got was this hair. And Yami. And compared to, like, flying, that's a raw deal, that is in no way fair. Am I rambling?"
"Well, it eases the virulent hate in my soul, so I think I'll keep doing it. Is that okay?"
"Wow," Bob said. "You are gifted by the Cosmic Powers that Be with an exceptional lack of height! You're so blessed."
Yugi and Yami stared at her.
"Thanks," Yugi finally grated out.
"...You've been going through the vinyl records, haven't you?"
"It gets boring when you make me stay at home."