The young woman blinked, this time. Kenshin sweatdropped. 'Hikari...'
Hikari stood up straighter, taking a stance as if holding a sword. "We're wandering samurai, on a journey! We don't beg for anything!"
Kenshin abruptly fell over. "Hikari!"
Her mother had been unusually tall... or perhaps it was just him, and his equally unusual traits. Sometimes he would laugh over the question if he was even human, or if he was some sort of unnatural being. Or stranger still, a westerner.
Hikari learned quickly, Kenshin was just as quick to see. 'Much faster than a certain baka deshi,' he thought to himself with a wistful smile.
"How do you suppose I got in?" Kenshin muttered irritably. "I walked through the walls, of course."
Kuroi *staring in anger*: Shinzo! You betrayed me!
Shinzo: Well DUH! When do you ever do anything for me? You're never home, and you fight with Mom all the time, and... and... I want a pony, Daddy! When do I get my pony!
Kuroi: Shaddup! You never hear me whining, 'I want the country!' do you?
Shinzo *sulky*: Heiji-sensei would buy me a pony...
Kuroi: That's IT! You're so grounded!
Kenshin *sniffling*: I just wanted to protect you... but over time, I've learned that... this world...
Hikari *slow blink*: This world...?
Kenshin: This world is made of...
Hikari *coaxing*: This world is made of...?
Kenshin *jumping up, peace sign extended*: LOVE AND PEACE!
Light of the Snow Red Village, Akai Kitsune
Oh well. It's his own funeral, after all, Himura thought before immediately reprimanding himself, reminding his inner-soldier that they didn't do funerals anymore.
The elder samurai, (and there was no doubt now that he was a samurai) had taken down his opponent in one fell swoop that hadn't appeared to take much strength or effort. Apparently Mr. Clumsy-Fool-Drunk was also Mr. Who's-Your-Daddy in disguise.
Must... not... break... non-killing vow!!
And he could also tell by looking at Nuhiro's face green and cheeks swell that he was a man that had drank too much.
Battousai-dono? That had to have been the most... backwards title he'd ever been called. Aw gee, he had a name to fit along with his sword now. Wonderful.
Well, it did need some tweaking. So far it sounded something like, "Hello, my name is Himura Battousai. You left me with the check. Prepare to die."
A test. This all had to be a test. Yes, that's it. If he could manage to keep himself from murdering this man, then he was sure to never kill again!
Being an ex-hitokiri that had only lived around the words "slicey" and "no slicey" didn't help.
"Hai! You are the first apprentice to the Obaga School of Simple-Minded Rurounis now, Himura-dono!" Both paused and let that announcement sink in. Finally Nuhiro rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Well, it's a working title de gozaru."
Kenshin continued following, trying not to think of all the good reasons he should be running away screaming right now.
"Of course! In fact, I even want you to start thinking with it de gozaru! And don't forget to 'oro' every now and then. 'Oro' is your all-purpose, butt-saving word in life, Himura-dono. Let it be your friend."
"...Drat," was all the other could say. "I keep forgetting I want him conscious. That's a new thing for me you know. Wanting him conscious I mean."
Kenshin: Victory is mine! I-I mean...Sessha does not like to fight...
Kenshin: I dunno if it's bravery or just plain stupidity but whatever it is, you sure got a lot of it.
Bandaged Samurai: Oh, had enough, eh?
[Battousai takes over while Kenshin goes for a coffee break]
Battousai: Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.
Rurouni Kenshin and the Holy Sakabato, Phoe-chan
‘Stupid, over-sexed, wears-his-jeans-so-tight-they-must-cut-off-the-circulation-to-his-brain..’ Part of her own brain was attempting to point out that, really, looked at rationally, there were some positive aspects to the way his jeans fit, but Kaoru ruthlessly stomped on them and told them to go back to wherever they’d come from and leave her to focus on annoyance and poetry.
Then there was nothing but a long silence, during which Kaoru held very still and tried to think helpless thoughts.
’Right... no danger here; helpless little mouse, all trapped and terrified, la la la... ‘
She could see her own reflection in them, frozen in amber depths, looking pale and startled, her hair tumbling wildly.
And then he smiled, a lazy, wicked smirk that seemed to show far too many teeth for her to be comfortable with, and moved his hand up to caress her cheek.
Without giving herself time to think, Kaoru brought up the hand that held the knife and stabbed, directly into his chest.
She wondered absently if she could persuade Kenshin to adopt a similar strategy... although preferably that strategy would be based on his going somewhere far, far away and not coming back. Ever.
"You.. you’re riding your bike to and from school?” he demanded, in a tone that Kaoru could find no reasonable explanation for.
“No, but my broomstick was in the shop today. Obviously, I’m riding my bike; it’s good exercise and I usually enjoy the peace and quiet and time to myself.”
‘This is no time to stop and smell the roses of... of... evil distractedness and... and... demonic...umm... evil!’ Sighing, Kaoru decided that she really shouldn’t attempt proverbs before she’d had her coffee. Possibly not even afterwards.
Kaoru looked speculatively at the green bike and wondered how much effort it would take to cut the lock.
Her toolbox was upstairs; surely it couldn’t be THAT difficult to...
“Something wrong?” a horribly familiar voice inquired
Besides which, she felt a sudden urgent need to have access to her hammer.
Maybe it was actually a really good thing that Kenshin had happened to be in the neighborhood the morning that her bike had happened to get...
Kaoru stopped suddenly and mentally ran through the morning’s events again. And then once more.
Oh, as soon as she figured out how, she was going to kill him. Possibly more than once.
The drive itself was also tense, no matter how loudly she turned up the relaxing music. Try as she might, Kaoru couldn’t come up with an easy way to accidentally misplace a late-model BMW by the time she’d gotten home.
Kaoru rolled her eyes, remembered he couldn’t see her exasperated gesture over the phone, and annoyedly said, “Sano, the neighborhood is fine, I think it was probably just...just a stupid prank, ok?” ‘A stupid demonic prank that is one more thing on my list of Reasons to Kill Kenshin, Preferably Soon.’
“I look professional every day, idiot,” Kaoru hissed, “This is where I work. At my job. Which has nothing to do with you, so please, if you’re going to show up and molest me, don’t do it here.” The humorous, burning sparks in Kenshin’s eyes made Kaoru blink and go over her sentence again, and she snapped, “Or anywhere else! You are not to bother me, here or elsewhere.”
Rolling his eyes, he said, “Very subtle, Battousai. Did you honestly think that I wouldn’t notice you were over there? What do you think you’ve been doing all afternoon? Lurking with intent to annoy?”
“Wow, guys, check it out; the Weasel’s gone speechless...” Sano said
“Please don’t say that,” Megumi implored, “I think I read somewhere that that’s a sign of the impending Apocalypse.”
“Let go of me!” she hissed, “What do you think you’re doing, out on the dance floor, with the...the... dancing and the... the...”
“Nuzzling?” Kenshin supplied helpfully.
And, frankly, she couldn’t possibly imagine a more serious and complicated issue than a demon who she’d killed once after seeing him massacre a wide selection of jocks and cheerleaders, and who was now back, for reasons that couldn’t possibly be good, reasons she was fairly sure she was going to have to kill him for, and showing a disturbing tendency to back her into corners in hallways and kitchens and nightclubs...
Sano, whose tolerance for any food, as long as it was free, was legend, said “Oh, come on, Meg; Kaoru may be fairly toxic in the kitchen, but I don’t think she’s ever actually killed anybody...”
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Kenshin remarked absently.
Kaoru narrowed her eyes at him and said, in a tone sugary enough to cause tooth decay, “Well, I think it’s just a question of practice, Megumi. I think that the important thing is to get something done right, because otherwise, it was a waste of time and effort, and you just have to do it again. More thoroughly."
“Get angry!” the madman demanded, “I want to see you get angry, Battousai!”
If she hadn’t been pinned and struggling to free herself, Kaoru would have rolled her eyes. What did he think Kenshin was now, gleeful and chipper?
She wondered how much time she had before he recovered enough to come after her.
She wondered where the hell the door to this place was, and what she would do once she’d found it. Her mind was focusing on a series of decidedly morbid last-stand-type thoughts, complete with theme music, and she wasn’t sure it didn’t have a point.
Kaoru, who was currently occupied in trying not to focus on the fact that Kenshin was wearing black silk boxers, and only black silk boxers, blinked and said, “Um. Er. Yes. Thank you. Those will be fine and where’s the shower?”
By the time she’d finished breakfast, Kaoru had run through several different strategies, mostly violent, in her mind, and had yet to find one that had any chance of success. For one thing, she didn’t even think she could lift the table in the first place, not to mention the fact that casually inquiring where Kenshin kept the steak knives seemed to lack a certain subtlety.
There were also no signs of a sword or any kind of sword-sized hiding place in the rest of the living room or the bathroom. Not that she was expecting, say, a sword wrapped in plastic to be stuck in the toilet tank, but Kaoru figured that it was better to be thorough.
After all, you wouldn’t expect to find a sword wrapped in paper and stuck under a teenaged-girl’s bed, either.
“Oh.. that’s too bad.” Kenshin sounded sad, and Kaoru wondered if it said bad things about her as a moral person that that made part of her jump up and down and cheer in victory.
“What happened to hoping that we would have this discussion someday? Please don’t tell me that time in the kitchen to think has led to some kind of Peter Parker, “Friendship is all I can offer you because I’m afraid you’ll be a target” kind of moment. Because if so, I may have to hit you with my shoe.”
“Is that, like, a demonic warning?”
“No, that is an older sister warning, with demonic support,”
Deciding that a change of topic might help the conversation, Kaoru commented, “Wow, not a lot of traffic tonight, is there...”
“How many boards would the Mongols hoard if the Mongol hordes got bored?”
This time, Kenshin actually blinked as he said, “What?”
“Nothing. Never mind.”
In spite of her blush, Kaoru managed to glare at him. “Stop trying to distract me with sex! I mean, by talking about it. Or doing it. I mean, darn it, Kenshin, be serious!”
Frozen Moonlight, JaneDrew
Still, one way or another the girl would be found and stuffed into a wedding kimono. If Aoshi had to walk her down the aisle at sword point then so be it.
“Oh, you wound me, fair maiden. I was left to yearn! I yearned for six long days! Have pity on me, my sweet for I only wished to bask in the warm light of your regard.”
Kaoru stared at him. “How long did it take you to think that up?”
“About four days.” He confessed.
Shinomori nodded. “Normally I arrange for his protection. However I have –personal interest in his upcoming nuptials.”
“Who is he marrying?” Kaoru frowned at the annoyance in her tone, but didn’t apologize. Instead she looked away when confronted by three slightly exasperated but expectant looks. “I said he proposed. I didn’t say I agreed.”
The Geas, Dragonsdaughter
“Kenshin! They still not letting you outta the office? Haven’t they ever heard of lunch breaks?”
“Hello, Sano; I had deadlines to meet, I’ve already eaten, and no, I’m not buying you lunch.”
“Good morning,” Kenshin responded. “Would you like me to fix breakfast?”
“Depends.. can you do it without getting out of the bed?”
Early and Late JaneDrew
“The dresses I have are just fine,” she protested.
“What’s the right material for a court dress, missy?” Sano asked over his shoulder.
“Silk,” she responded automatically.
“Did mother buy you silk?”
“… Because the last silk dress I had was ruined.”
Soujiro brightened, “Wasn’t that the time we dared you to climb Mr. Machida’s north tower?”
“Sanosuke,” he groaned, “We ran all the way home. Couldn’t we just take a carriage or horses? My feet are still killing me,”
“Sano!” Kaoru was outraged, “Have you been endangering Sou’s technique? He’s built for speed, not stupidity.”
“He normally wears a cape,” Sou whispered at the same time, “But Tae refuses to let it into the dining halls. She says it’s undiplomatic to intimidate your guests while they’re eating.”
Kaoru snorted, “He doesn’t need a cape to do that.”
“Father really is a kind person,” Kenshin defended with an unconvincing smile, “He just has trouble showing it.” No one would really make eye contact with him after that and he wilted slightly.
“Sano, you should be ashamed of yourself,” Tae admonished lightly. She’d come out of Kaoru’s room looking just as smug with her work as the night before.
“Why?” he looked genuinely puzzled.
“You shouldn’t flirt with your best friend’s little sister,” she told him smartly before moving down the hall to knock on the prince’s door.
Kaoru and Sano’s expressions were mirrors of horror as they looked at each other. Then, with a silent understanding, the incident was buried beneath all human recollection, never to be brought up again for as long as they lived.
"He got that funny look in his eyes when I told him about it,” she nodded confidently. Kaoru felt her eyebrow twitch. No matter what Misao tried to convince her of, she would always maintain that Aoshi only had two facial expressions. Ice and Glacier.
Their heads turned in simultaneous disapproval toward the door. The prince really knew how to interrupt a conversation.
“Come in, Kenshin,” Tomoe called after a rueful glance at Kaoru.
He poked his head around the door and held his hands before him. Kaoru stifled a snort. A prince fearful of his fiancé and escort. Her country’s future looked bright.
In These Final Hours, Zeh Wulf
"Kamiya Kasshin secret technique. It's used only when ones opponent happens to be a support beam. Very obscure," I joked, hoping it would lighten the odd atmosphere.
Kenshin chuckled a bit and looked up at me, continuing his light caress. "Indeed. Support beams are very vicious. It was just standing there and already it gave you a sore wrist and a bruised forehead. Imagine what it can do if it actually moved."
"Probably bring the whole damn dojo down on me,"
I turned to Saitoh since it was obvious that even Kenshin would not honor the police officer with a greeting. "Good morning, Saitoh-san. How may we be of service to you?" Your most gracious Royal Pain In the Ass…
"I figured if I'm going to convince him, it would be wise to employ Kaoru to do the job because he kinda had a crush on her when we were little."
Kenshin was a little taken aback, but I groaned and slapped a hand to my forehead.
"That was such a lame ass lie I ought to kill you myself," I said in disgust.
"I'm going to pack now, Kenshin. If you need anything, just give me a holler."
"Does sessha have to need something to give you a holler?" He asked.
"Er…" Grrr…he's teasing! "O…ro?" I responded lamely.
"Kaoru, just how much of a brat do ya think I am, anyway? You're like Kenshin, making up for things he didn't like doing in the past by doing lots of good in the present. Sorter like…trying to get rid of the guilt, ne?"
My eyebrow arched in surprise. "When did you get so wise, kid-o?"
"Since I had to raise a bunch of crazy adults…" I heard him mutter
"I got us cheap seats, round trip and with a flexible schedule, so we can leave Yokohama anytime we like, but you gotta pay up…"
"Of course," I interjected with an eyebrow raised. "I'll have my butler go to the treasury vault…"
"Bitching…" He said in a sing-song voice.
"If it bothers you, then my mission in life is done," I retorted.
"You are no longer children!" He practically scolded. "Differences can no longer be resolved by…by brawls!"
Kyosuke gave Kenshin a glare. "May I remind you that you shoved a sword up my throat…"
"Sessha advises you not to push your luck," Kenshin told him with a pointed look.
"I'll shut up now," Kyosuke responded at once, taking his seat.
The Spy and the Hitokiri, anna-neko
Should she sneak out the window? She had a dark suspicion that Kenshin checks on her in the middle of the night, that lovable worry-wart. Or perhaps she should just come clean with him and tell him that she is meeting Shoiriki at Bonsai, and will be back shortly. Kaoru snickered to herself. Shyeah, right. She could just hear Kenshin saying, "Over my dead body, de gozaru."
"So you say you're not worthy to make her happy," Sano spat contemptuously. "But you're not worthy to make her miserable either! So between the two, which one would you pick?"
"Sessha...will do neither."
"Grr!!" Sano's fingers found their way to Kenshin's neck and he began to strangle the rurouni violently. "You. Make. Me. So. Mad!!!"
"Sessha...sessha is fine now. Th-thanks, Kaoru-dono, nothing like a woman's touch, eh?" Kenshin said, avoiding her eyes, his face scarlet. He looked desperately for a way out. "Oh, look, is that laundry?"
And that was all Battousai had. Kaoru knew right then that she loved the Battousai part of Kenshin, too. That was why she had jumped in front of Shigeru earlier that night. She wanted to save Battousai from himself...save him from having to kill again.
Oh, yeah, and to save Shigeru, too. But she hadn't thought of that until now.
Shigeru did everything he could to keep from bursting out in laughter. It would ruin the melodrama that Nakamura had so carefully built up, and that would not be good for Shigeru's well-being in general.
Eight of the original eighteen samurais remained, and three of them approached Sanosuke (none of them volunteered to take on Seiji, who stood in a corner like an idiot).
Battousai's eyes narrowed into deadly slits as he swung his bloodstained katana down. Nakamura shifted hastily, but a moment too late. The hitokiri's sword pierced into his upper arm and he let out a screeching cry. Battousai raised his sword once more to complete the kill?
"Kenshin! Quit it!" Kaoru rushed forward and, without much forethought, grabbed the hitokiri's red ponytail and pulled.
"Ah, that's nice. Sorry I couldn't make it to your wedding...I was, er...preoccupied," Shigeru said. ...trying to keep Battousai from kicking his ass, everyone in the room (including Shigeru) thought.