Evan and Rogue exchanged amused glances. "I doubt that, man," Evan replied. "Somehow I just can't see Magneto baking."
"Are you kidding?" Fred asked. "All those danger room sessions of yours that Wolverine runs? At least Sabertooth would just kill me and get it over with."
Shoes? Carol echoed incredulously. The moron wakes us up in the middle of the night because of shoes?!
The infamous French Quarter of New Orleans was just as Rogue had always pictured it in her head. Of course, that could have been because she had Remy's memories floating around in the back of her mind.
"Act?" Remy echoed sarcastically. "Dat ain't no act, chere. Remy really is de most charming man on de face o' de earth. You jus' don' know it yet."
"Eighteen was a rather boring birthday for me," Lucas mused, and Rogue grinned at the dark skinned thief who was two years her elder. He was also a mutant, gifted with the power of energy absorption and energy blasts.
"What are y' talkin' 'bout, Lucas?" Remy scoffed. "We threw you a big bash. Lots o' music, lots o' dancin'." He gave his friend a significant look. "Lots o' drinkin'."
Lucas tilted his head thoughfully. "Perhaps that's why I don't have much recollection of it."
She nodded and walked out of his room, ignoring Pyro's suggestive leers, Colossus's quizzical glance, and Magneto's raised eyebrow. Admit it, girl, Rogue told herself as she reached the front porch. You like Remy LeBeau way too much.
"Well," Emil said sarcastically. "I'd tell dem t' get a room, but dey'd probably take dat literally an’ run back up t’ de bedroom.”
"What can I say?" Remy shrugged. "If dere's one t'ing dat I learned watchin' Henri durin' Mercy's pregnancy, it's dat y' can never have too many brownie points in yo' favor. 'Specially if y' got a wife dat can break yo' hand wit' yo' pinky."
"Ah could not," Rogue smirked. "Maybe wit' mah thumb, but mah pinky? No way."
"You’re scared of getting caught, aren’t you?"
"That was a very manly squeak."
"Gotta agree with the Kurt-man, though," Evan said with regret as he looked down at his own plate. "If the adults don't get in here soon, I'll start eating the silverware."
"So the best idea is divahde an' conquer, huh?" Rogue nodded. "Could work. Ya know what boys are like when they're all in a group."
"Ja - hey, wait a minute! _I'm_ a boy!"
"Beast, Mystique - could you please maintain some order back there?"
"Certainly, if we have permission to toss everyone under eighteen out the door," Beast said cheerfully.
"And if it doesn't work, we'll just clunk him over the head and drag him back caveman-style, yo!" Toad said cheerfully.
"Except me," Pietro bragged. "I already have perfect control of my power."
"Too bad it doesn't extend to your mouth," Logan said wryly.
Kurt put a hand on his shoulder. "Wait until she cools off. Otherwise she may hurl you out the nearest window or something, and _you_ can't teleport."
"No, but I bounce," Hank said good-naturedly and gave Kurt a reassuring smile before heading up the stairs.
Todd's eyes went huge. "Magneto is running a DANCE club?!"
Everyone fell silent and listened while pretending not to.
Logan glanced at Mystique. "Between Magneto, Pietro's asylum-sprung twin, and her beanpole boyfriend, this is gonna be one interesting morning."
Rogue and Pietro walked into the kitchen and stopped, looking around at the others who were staring at them. "Gee, should we go back out and come in again?" Pietro asked dryly.
"Nah, don't bother, we'll still stare," Todd replied.
Until today, he hadn't been spanked since he was six and tried to flush his little brother Alex down the toilet.
Scott watched her go in dismay. He had the feeling Logan had just ruined what was about to be something very important. He kicked one of his weights in frustration, then hopped around on one foot, muttering under his breath.
"I wonder if there's still room for me back at the asylum," Wanda muttered. "At least there are _some_ sane people there."
“I don’t eat that much! I can’t speak for those two…”
“What was that?”
“I think he just volunteered to be the one to sleep on the couch.”
“Hey! What about the orgy?”
“Three of us cannot fit in our bed.”
“Stacked up, we can.”
“I am NOT hearing this,” Storm groaned. “I leave you three to deal with them.”
“What was that about holding ourselves?”
“I think it was a suggestion.”
“Spoken like a true virgin,” Beast interrupted before it could get any worse. The Kurts sputtered and glared. Were they not covered in blue fur, they would have been bright red. Beast simply offered them an innocent look.
“Okay then. Twenty dollars says that Logan will have a coronary on the spot when he sees this.”
“I’m not taking that one. I’ll lose.”
“I have fifteen for Storm blowing a gasket when she sees the mess,” Kitty whispered, eying the knee-deep piles of containers filling the kitchen.
“Not taking that one either,” Scott snorted.
“I will,” Rogue said, folding her arms across her chest. “I say she’ll make Forge clean it. She’s kinda ticked at him, after all.”
“Hey,” Scott interrupted. “Isn’t Logan due back today?”
“I’ll get the camera,” Jean offered.
Several seconds ticked by in silence before he realized that he had just been mummified in toilet paper.
“I don’t know what’s going on and I don’t want to,” he said in a flat tone. “I think I need to search Canada a little longer.”
“It was better than the soapy frog incident,” Evan muttered. Four hundred and seventeen frogs slicked with liquid soap had been released in his room for unknown reasons. It had taken him a full day with the help of about a dozen Jamie clones to get them all out.
“Or the Vaseline on the toilets,” Kitty griped.
“Or the dye in the toothpaste,” Rogue hissed. Her teeth were still purple.
“Or the bleach in the shampoo,” Scott said drolly. He was now blond.
“Or the two thousand fleas he released in my office,” Beast growled, twisting one arm around to scratch his back.
“Or the Jello,” Kitty said, her voice slowly rising to a shriek. “How did you manage to fill my room with lime Jello?”
“Why am I glad that I no longer live here?” Tabby said under her breath.
“Because you’re sane,” Jean responded.
Logan came back during the third day of there being nine fuzzballs. He took one look at the clump of them hanging all over the common room, turned sharply on his heel and promptly left. No one had seen him since, though rumor had it that he had acquired at least four speeding tickets on his way out of Bayville.