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Fighting, Alan Podjursky
The Name they Fear, Stephen Howe
Instant Karma, Kayla and Jess [Spike/Xander]
Vengence is Satisfied Justice is Served, TDMaster
Tell the End, Te [Angelus/Xander]
Knight's Chosen, Bastard Snow
Cornfields, Coffe, and Conciliatio, Bastard Snow
Cold Cofee and Old Memories, Bastard Snow
Family's Family, No Matter Which Way You Spin It, Maria
Home Sweet Hellmouth,, Mac Xavier
Xander; Slayer of Hearts (Oh and Vamps, And Slimy Things that Make You Go Eeeew!), Raihne [Spike/Xander]
Death by Association ,Tienco [Angel/Xander]
The Storm, Tienco
Lady Red, Tienco
And I'll Remember, Adalisa [Angel/Xander]
Death Becomes Him, Adalisa[Spike/Xander]
Xander the Vampire Slayer, Adalisa [Angel/Xander]
Welcome to Valhalla, Kaz [Spike/Xander]
Never Cage a Viking, Kaz [Spike/Xander]
Raiding Party , Kaz [Spike/Xander]
Legend of the Black Knorr, Kaz [Spike/Xander]
Abracadabra series, SaberShadowKitten
Short Silly Stories series,, SaberShadowKitten
Bonds of Soul and Demon, Lucinda
A Cop, A Doctor, A Vampire and a Bookstore, Elf
Alpha Moon, Elf
What itFeels Like for a Girl, BeachBlondeBabe
Anya's Turn ,Scorpio [Spike/female-Xander]
Kitten ,Scorpio [Spike/Xander]
Twilight's End ,Scorpio
Friends, Scorpio [Spike/Xander]
Knightfall, DarkDyer
Hunter, Psyckosama

"Fighting" - Alan Podjursky

"I don't get it," Xander bi--, um, said. "Why are you teaching me knives? Why not swords?"

Giles fixed his glasses in place. They'd slipped slightly, during the last ten minutes. "Er, swords are hard to hide in an urban setting and rather hard to replace, while knives are a simple matter of stealing from the kitchen and putting them in your jacket. That's one of the major reasons."

"Why no guns?"

"Bullets that can kill vampires are either silver, which is hard to explain, or hollowpoints, which are hard to explain to law enforcement."

And the day didn't get much better from there on in. After a couple of minutes, Xander settled in for a good few periods of actively listening to himself snoring. Gently, so as not to disturb the teacher.

"I don't like spiders, okay?," Willow complained, continueing the complaint from earlier. "Their furry bodies, and their sticky webs, and what do they need all those extra legs for, anyway? I'll tell you -- for crawling over your face in the middle of the night. Ewww! How can they not ruffle you?"

"I'm sorry!," Xander said. "I'm unruffled by spiders. Spiders eat flies and bugs, and are therefore good. Now, if a bunch of Nazi's crawled over my face..."

"Fighting" - Alan Podjursky

"The Name they Fear" - Stephen Howe

Xander raced home and placed the heavy leather top coat on his bed and tried to remember what else the man in Giles's book had been wearing. "One of those puffy pirate shirts, a waistcoat…" He snapped his fingers. "Giles! Giles would have junk like that."

Giles picks it up and nods." Willow believes Miss Chase has cast a spell on you."

Xander nods." She's right...In a way Cordy has, but it's a magic far older than any every practiced believe it was first used in Eden by Eve."

Giles smiles." You do know that when they find out the girls will be..."Giles searched for the right word."

"I believe 'pissed' is the colloquial term you're looking for."

Giles nods." I will do my utmost to secure the safety of Cordelia."

Xander stands up." I think Cordy can handle herself against the demons."

"I was thinking more in the way of Buffy and Willow."

Xander smiles." So was I."

"The Name they Fear" - Stephen Howe

Warning, the following contains boy-on-boy love of the Spike/Xander kind.

"Instant Karma" - Kayla and Jess

"Angel!" Buffy gasped in surprise when the vampire showed up at Giles' door. "Is the world in trouble??"

"It might be," Angel waved her away. "I need your guys' help..."

"What is it? Of course we'll help." Giles commented, polishing his glasses.

Angel took an unneeded breath, "I need you to help me convince Spike to marry a...friend of mine's son." And he was met with dead silence.

"Well we aren't going to let that happen!" Buffy said fiercely. She hadn't been upset at the threat of the end of the world, oh no, but at the threat to her ex-boy toy's life.

His father raised an eyebrow, sniffing the air. "You've been sleeping with him."

Xander gave a very nervous laugh as his blush deepened. "No, no, what makes you think that!? He's just this guy I kinda have to live with and we happen to share the same bed because I can only afford one and you're not buying one little bit of this, are you?"

"Succinctly put, she advised that render him unconscious, restrain him, and lock him in the closet."

"Lock him in the closet?"

"I believe that's what I said, yes." Giles removed his glasses to give them a quick polish.

"You're kidding right?" Angel shook his head. "That won't work." He sighed heavily, then brightened a bit. "Maybe if we use a cage instead?"

Xander's eyes flew wide and a huge grin spread over his face. "Lindsey!"

Lindsey's face lit up. "Dad!" The two men were soon locked in an embrace, laughter sounding in the room.

Poe quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, Dasani. Would you care to explain this?"

"Um," Xander said, "You see...and then...and that was after...but this was...Look! A Butterfly!" Xander released his hold on Lindsey and ran from the room.

"I feel loved," Lindsey commented to Oz, then said to Zakari "Um, he met a girl a while ago, and when two people love each other they..."

"What is this?" the old vampire threw his hands in the air, "The family of vague answers?!"

The lawyer paused for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, pretty much."

Eyes wide, the lawyer swallowed hard. "Um, y-yeah. Sure." He relaxed when the steely eyes moved on to a new target. To Oz, he whispered, "I'm dead, aren't I?"

Oz quirked a grin. "Nah. He's just a little tense right now. He'll be much calmer after the wedding. And reception. And maybe a few weeks recuperation. And--"

"All right, I get the point!"

"Argh!" Zakari glared at his son and son-in-law, shaking a fist. "Enough! My son may be a married man now, but he is still as pure and innocent as a newborn babe. I won't have you trying to make me think otherwise!" He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Ha, take that. Slayer one, bad guys nothing." Buffy smiled.

Lindsey looked to Oz, "I thought we had like...fifty or something on her."

"Sssh, she doesn't know that."

Xander twitched as he watched his son sucking face with the werewolf. Finally, he growled. "Lindsey! Not in front of me, ok? My god, what are you thinking making out in front of your father?"

The sound of crickets chirping filled the room as everyone stared at Xander in bemusement.

"What?" Xander turned to his husband. "What?? Was it something I said?"

"I have only been saying that...oh never mind. No one listens to me," Zakari sighed.

Zakari shook his head, "I'm pondering if I should be disturbed by this all or proud my son's growing into a healthy young demon."

"Instant Karma" - Kayla and Jess

"Vengence is Satisfied Justice is Served" - TDMaster

"I died and resurrected so fast Jesus is pissed off I broke his record."

"I'm sorry," Xander said, theatrically turning around, revealing his painted face, "but your associate had an unfortunate accident: I tore out his throat, and broke his neck."

"Dying and resurrecting has its perks," Xander commented.

Riley’s eyes widened, and then he grumbled, "All right, that’s it, if you people ever send me an invitation for a funeral, I’m not coming, because you’ll be up and about in no time."

The whole group looked astonished, and Giles was the one to ask, "Three of you against ten thousand if not more of them?"

"Yep," Eric grinned from the corner. "All ten thousand to the slaughter."

Alex added, his visage adding to the frightening concept, "Don’t expect there to be anything left of the school though."

"No," Wood moaned. "I just built the damn place."

"...god, I’m probably the only guy on the planet who gets to blow up his highschool twice."

"Vengence is Satisfied Justice is Served" - TDMaster

Warning, the following story contains boy-on-boy smut of the Angelus/Xander kind.

"Tell the End" - Te

"Uh... can I have door number two, behind which is the vacation in the Bahamas and never, ever having this conversation?"

Xander blinks in what he hopes is an encourage-the-psychotic-vampire-to-return-to-his-senses way.

And it's one of those moments when Xander is absolutely positive that the reason people aren't allowed to time-travel is because they'd spend way more time saving their own asses than doing anything useful for the world because that flat, low, ripping sound is nothing but a snarl and those are *teeth* in his throat.

"I'm blaming blood-loss." And is that really his voice?

A laugh. "Don't think of it as loss. Think of it as a kind a redivision..."

"I knew there was a reason Anya hated Commies."

"Tell the End" - Te

"Knight's Chosen" - Bastard Snow

"Hey guys!" he said.

Willow jumped up off the couch and gave him a big hug.

"Do we hug?" Xander asked Oz.

Oz shook his head. "I think we're too manly."

"So, anything else interesting happen around here while I was gone?"

"No," said Buffy, "It was pretty much the same old Sunnyhell you know and hate. Oh, but about a month ago, I killed something in that new apartment complex that's going up, over by Chestnut? Man, those places are nice! Expensive, though... so probably not what you're looking for."

"And in any other room," Oz said, "the interesting part of that statement would not deal with real estate."

"I'm not gonna fight you with a sword," the vampire said, wiping the dirt off his suit. "That's just crazy! You'll cut right through me!"

"That's kinda the point," Xander said, approaching the vampire.

"See?" Buffy said. "Even Xander thinks I'm dirty! He can't stand to be in the same room as me!"

"Sweetie, that's not why he left," Willow said, smiling.

"Why then?"

"Best guess? Sunnydale PD's gonna have a non-mystical murder to investigate pretty soon."

"You mean," asked Willow, "you were marching Parker over here, battered, bruised and bloodied, and stopped at a payphone to call Oz to bring ice cream? Didn't Parker try to... oh, I don't know, escape?"

"He didn't have much choice in the matter," Xander said, breaking out a goofy grin. "Besides, it was his quarter, anyway."

"So I win because you're short?" Xander whispered.

"I am not short. I'm cute."

"Well, the demon in question is a Fargath demon, probably with some vampire lackeys, and it shall be performing the Rite of Zarkom on the night in question."

"Hey," said Xander. "Is it just me or does everybody have vampire lackeys. How come we don't have vampire lackeys?"

"Probably because they're evil," Willow said.

"That's where the difficult part comes in. Once the ritual is begun, there are only two places where it can be safely interrupted. The first time is when the demon must... well," Giles sighed, removed his glasses and cleaned them. "I shudder at the thought, but it must defecate into the center of a fiery pentagram."

The rest of the room burst into laughter.

"Yes, well, laugh now, but when we're all suffering eternal torment, just remember who tried to warn you."

"Well," said Buffy. "Willow and Xander haven't had much time to catch up since he got back, and I need to ask Oz's expert opinion on some nail polish issues. Plus, one powerhouse per team. Makes sense."

"Nail polish?" asked Giles.

Oz held up his hands, with every other fingernail painted black, and one on each hand a dark green.

"Ah, you wound me, Summers," he said, putting a hand over his heart. "First you kill my demon, then you insult my manliness by implying my aim is somehow less than perfect."

"First, you just said you wanted me to kill it. And second, YOUR demon?" she asked.

"Well, I saw him first. Standard 'finders-keepers' rules apply."

"I'm sorry, did you want it to die, or take it as a pet?"

"Willow, tell Buffy to give me my sword back!" Xander whined.

"Aww, is the widdle Slayer being mean?" asked Willow, patronizingly.

"Well, I drove. And… I killed some things, mostly demons, but I think I also got a possum or two. I pretty much drove up the coast to Seattle, then headed East. Got as far as Minnesota, where I actually took out a whole nest of vamps that were preying on the locals. After that, I realized I wasn't gonna get away from these things, no matter where I went. So, I came home by the scenic route. Saw Mount Rushmore, killed a Fyarl demon. Saw the Grand Canyon, dusted a few vamps. Hit Death Valley and, oddly enough, nothing happened."

"Where's Xander?"

"In the hallway, like a big baby," Giles said, cleaning his glasses again. "I swear, the two of them could take this show on the road. Title it 'Lessons in Emotional Immaturity.'"

"Knight's Chosen" - Bastard Snow

"Family's Family, No Matter Which Way You Spin It" - Maria

"I have a better question," Angel interrupted. "Do I know your grandfather?"

"I believe you’ve had the unfortunate experience of meeting Quentin."

"You’re grandfather is the man who practically ordered your execution when he found out that you had married me?!"

"That would be the one."

His wife gave him such a glare that if looks could kill, he wouldn’t have even been a pile of ash. "It isn’t my twin’s fault if he couldn’t pronounce damphir right. I certainly couldn’t if it weren’t for the fact that we’re raising Dru and Spike’s kids."

"And I still can’t figure out what possessed us to do that," her husband answered.

"We didn’t want Dru to feed on them, remember?"

"Oh, yeah, right."

"Family's Family, No Matter Which Way You Spin It" - Maria

"Home Sweet Hellmouth" - Mac Xavier

Lexa frowned. "But I can't start school. I don't exist here, remember?"

"Thanks to Willow and that dread machine, yes, you do," Giles informed her, much to Xander's amusement. "You and Faith are both my wards as of this morning. Lexa and Faith MacLeod."

Xander turned to Willow, shaking his head. "No more Highlander marathons for you."

"What?" protested the redhead. "I could have made it Ryan!"

"Guess who our commencement speaker is for graduation?" Xander asked dryly as he dropped onto the couch between Lexa and Willow.

"Darth Vader?" Lexa suggested cheerfully. She was going to graduate. Okay, so it wasn't in her own dimension, but this one wasn't bad. Besides, she had actually survived High School.

"Not talking about it."

"We are -so- talking about it."

"No, we're not."

"Yes, we are. Spill it, or I'll ask Faith."

"You're cruel."

"I'm you as a girl, so I'm thinking that's not such an insult."

"Statements of fact are not insults."

"Good point."

Cordelia shook her head as she listened to the conversation between Xander and Lexa. "You two really do share the same brain."

Oz nodded. "It's like watching Pong."

(Sniff) That's Willow. I'd know that smell even without being Hyena boy again. Strawberries. But now she has wolfie smell on her too. I guess that's from Oz. Hey! They've had sex! Oh, I'll rip his lungs out and hang them in my den ...

Note to self, don't kill bestest friend's boyfriend. It would be rude.

"Home Sweet Hellmouth" - Mac Xavier

Warning, the following story contains boy-on-boy of the Spike/Xander kind.

"Xander; Slayer of Hearts (Oh and Vamps, And Slimy Things that Make You Go Eeeew!)" - Raihne

"Have you seen the new girl?"

"So what about her?"

"Huh?"

"What do you know about her?"

Jesse grinned, "New Girl."

//Thank you mr. obvious.//

"Can you close that Jess?"

He closed his gapping mouth with an audiable click

"That's cool too but I kinda meant the door?"

"Only took you two days to find us again, impressive."

"Well it would have been much easier if you hadn't WELDED me into my own APARTMENT!"

"Hey pet, how you feeling?"

"Like Bruce Willis is doing the cancan on my brain in spiked heels."

"Xander; Slayer of Hearts (Oh and Vamps, And Slimy Things that Make You Go Eeeew!)" - Raihne

Warning, the following story contains boy-on-boy smut of the Angel/Xander kind.

"Death by Association" - Tienco

Cordelia, who had heard the entire conversation, looked up from her magazine. "Well, I'm going home. When killing of humans comes into play, that's when I go to my Charles and say I know nothing to the police tomorrow." She smiled sweetly, gathering her things. She walked up to the two, hugging Willow, then kissing Xander's cheek. "Have fun, see you tomorrow."

"Bloody HELL!" Spike jumped up, falling into game face. "You can't kill the chit! She's human, or some rot like that! You are Angel, not Angelus!" He glared angrily at the two of them.

Willow rolled her eyes, sighing softly. She looked up at Spike. "We get to help, bleached wonder."

Spike turned to his mate, blinking. "We do?" he asked.

"Duh. She hurt Xander. You think I'm going to stand by and let that happen?" Willow asked, her hands on her hips.

Spike's lips curled into a truly evil grin. "Come on, Dad. I say we go on a little killing spree." He licked his lips. "I bet she'll taste bloody delicious."

"Death by Association" - Tienco

"The Storm" - Tienco

"Yea, right, witch." He rolled his eyes at her.

She growled at him, making him look at her in surprise. < Chit can growl, > he thought.

< Damn. I hate it when women cry, unless of course they are crying because I'm killing them. >

Automatically, Spike's mind kicked into evil mode as he imagined all the things he'd sneak into Willow's house and do to her. Then he stopped, watching her shiver as she took his duster off. She ran her fingers through her soaking hair. He was captivated. He knew at that moment that he could never hurt her. He liked her too much. "Oh bloody hell!"

"The Storm" - Tienco

"Lady Red" - Tienco

Spike could smell the arousal in the air. "Willow Rosenberg, you deal with death in the most bizarre ways."

"Willow Rosenberg. That's my name."

"Right, Pet."

"Doesn't ring a bell. Who are you?"

She frowned at him. "What?" she hissed.

"I will keep you, and I will keep you as a human, and it will kill the Slayer that her little pet couldn't resist me."
Willow smiled. "Might be fun."

Faith blinked in surprise. "You aren't going to kill me?"

Spike threw his head back and laughed. "And face the wrath of Lady Red? I don't think so, darlin."

"WILLOW!" Buffy yelled. "Stop this! Where is the quiet shy little Willow I love?"

"Oops, looks like she went bye-bye," Willow sang evilly.

"Lady Red" - Tienco

Warning, the following story contains boy-on-boy of the Angel/Xander kind.

"And I'll Remember" - Adalisa

"A woman, a big building, and something with six arms... Kate and Wesley were there... you should call them." The young man explained quickly, as he drank. "Can’t the Powers that Be get a pager?"

"We have to stop them." She said, walking into the room without waiting for an invitation. "They mustn't try to force him to come back."

"Good night to you too, Tara." He muttered, still half asleep.

He knew it was her voice, the taunting mock that tried to hurt him even more... And it evoked the strange feeling of understanding her, of feeling sorry for her. "I... I think I'd like to meet her. Without the choaking part, it might be fun."

"And I'll Remember" - Adalisa
(If anyone could direct me to an updated link to Adalisa's site, that would be awesome)

Warning, the following story contains boy-on-boy of the Spike/Xander kind.

"Death Becomes Him" - Adalisa

"Ampata?" Spike couldn't hold the note of jealousy of his voice, and wondered if it was healthy to feel possessive of a being of Death.

Even so, that wasn't as surprising as the small white stuffed horse in the Weaver's arms. Somehow, it didn't look out-of-place, to see a being older than time holding a stuffed toy.

And with that, and the reoccurring thought of using Death's Harbinger as Donut boy, Giles promptly fainted.

"Death Becomes Him" - Adalisa
(If anyone could direct me to an updated link to Adalisa's site, that would be awesome)

Warning, the following story contains boy-on-boy of the Spike/Xander kind.

"Welcome to Valhalla" - Kaz

He groaned as he rolled over, every muscle ached as he sat and picked up the receiver. "Go away Giles. Wrong number. Xander has moved to Alaska and is now making a fantastic living organising snowball fights for the Playboy organisation. Please leave a message after the sound of naked flesh and snow angels. Beeep."

Xander's look indicated that he thought Spike had finally 'lost it'. "A Viking? We're about to be turned into ground beef by a horde of demons and you're thinking about *Vikings*?"

When the demons finally rushed, all Spike could hear above the howls was Xander chanting, "Find the Viking, find the Viking..." Closely followed by a caustic. "Well that's just peachy, Spike. Except I'd look like a fucking idiot in one of those stupid hats."

And with a viscous snarl, Xander found the Viking-and the demon found an axe blade buried in its skull.

"Raiding party?" Xander squeaked. Staring pointedly at the surrounding area, he kept his voice light and flippant. "Gee, Spike, I don't know. I seem to have left my longship at home tonight. And far be it from me to point out the obvious, but I don't see yours either. And don't you think that, like, you've sort of fixated on this Viking thing just a tad?"

The stealing seemed to bother Giles more than the fight or the axe. "Xander stole money?" The Watcher blinked in dismay as Riley handed over the list of damages and items stolen that Willie had thrust into his hand as they had left.

As much as Xander hated to admit it, Spike's prescence was turning out to be a good influence on him--except when it wasn't-- and Xander sternly reminded himself about their little run in with the police.

Warm brown eyes with a soothing voice try to calm Toby down. He can't find the words to tell his saviour that the sight of Spike in the background, licking the bloody axe head like a lollipop, is ruining the whole effect.

"Welcome to Valhalla" - Kaz

Warning, the following story contains boy-on-boy of the Spike/Xander kind.

"Never Cage a Viking" - Kaz

Spike and the demon were a blur as they clashed like runaway locomotives. The vampire heard a scream of pain as Xander sent the first bikers nuts on a trip up into his lungs.

Giles hastened to explain. "All cells are monitored by video camera. Never had them in my day though." Giles suddenly realised what he'd said and what he'd just admitted to. {{Bugger}}

"Never Cage a Viking" - Kaz

Warning, the following story contains boy-on-boy of the Spike/Xander kind.

"Raiding Party" - Kaz

"I can hear your brain tickin' from over here," the vampire finally commented.

"Its a digital age. My brain doesn't tick," Xander replied airily. "The numbers appear like magic, who am I to question from whence they come?"

Striking a dramatic pose with an arm flung up across his forehead, Xander mimicked his own words from their previous conversation. "Gosh, Spike. You should have seen all the stuff he had. Must be worth a fortune. Do you think someone will just move in and help themselves?" He straightened up blinking innocently.

And saw Spike was doing that fish impression again.

Finally, the vampire shook his head in admiration muttering. "You manipulative little shit."

Spike nodded. Okay, that made sense; and that thought alone he found vaguely alarming. How anyone, let alone himself, could equate four rainbow colored demons wearing the face of a former President as *not* being obvious was something he did not want to contemplate.

"I've been listening to Dru rant for over a century," came the smug retort. "Whine all you want, pet. I can take it."

Unseen by the vampire, Xander's face lit up with glee at the chance of payback on some unknown havoc Spike was bound to wreak in the future. {{He who strikes first, strikes best}}

"Raiding Party" - Kaz

Warning, the following story contains boy-on-boy of the Spike/Xander kind.

"Legend of the Black Knorr" - Kaz

"We have a trailer full of stolen goodies and you're worried about the *windows* being illegal?"

"Legend of the Black Knorr" - Kaz

"Abracadabra series" - SaberShadowKitten

Everyone laughed, releasing the somber mood. "Ok. My turn. I never had sex."

Willow, Xander and Cordelia all drank. Angel stuck out his lip. "That's not a fair question! I'm 243 years old!"

"5:30? As in 10 hours ago?" Xander asked incredulously.

"Hey, Xander, you did math in your head," Willow giggled. "Must get smarter as you get drunker."

"I’m Velma," she said proudly.

"What does that make everyone else?" Angel asked, grinning down at her.

"Xander is Shaggy. Cordy is Daphne. Giles is Fred and Oz was Scooby, but I guess that spot has been re-opened. Care to fill it?"

"Yeah, Angel. Come, be our Scooby," Xander chimed. "Did that just sound as dumb as I think it did?"

Giles removed his glasses and looked at his young wards, then up at Angel. *General? Cordy? Angel smiling? What the devil is going on?*

"Booga booga?" Angel asked. "You want me to say booga booga?"

"Just do it, you wuss."

"I’m not a wuss," Angel corrected. "I’m just a pansy."

"Abracadabra series" - SaberShadowKitten

"Bonds of Soul and Demon" - Lucinda

He didn't care right now, if his minions would feel more confident going into battle naked and painted blue, fine, he'd let them as long as they could get that way quickly.

"Bonds of Soul and Demon" - Lucinda

"A Cop, A Doctor, A Vampire and a Bookstore" - Elf

Cordelia asked, "Do you have a name?"

"And a phone number, and an e-mail address," Angel answered as he handed Cordelia his card. She took it from him and rolled it in her hands.

She whistled and said, "Boy, she works fast. Guess you made an impression."

"But I don't want to make an impression," he protested.

"A Cop, A Doctor, A Vampire and a Bookstore" - Elf

"Alpha Moon" - Elf

"She's a very strange person," Oz said as he watched her go. "Girlfriend?"

"No, damn it, why does everyone keep asking me that?" Angel asked even more annoyed than before.

"Alpha Moon" - Elf

"Short Silly Stories series" - SaberShadowKitten

"And your skin doesn’t seem to be falling off. Although, I’ve only seen your hands, face and neck. You could be hiding giant holes under the rest of your clothes."

"Want to find out?"

"Employer. Don't have one of those either. Maybe I should put self-employed killer?"

"Short Silly Stories series" - SaberShadowKitten

Warning, the following story contains boy-on-boy of the Angel/Xander kind.

"He's a grown vampire on a wheelchair, and he knows that if I flunk my class because of him, he'll be a grown pile of dust on a wheelchair."

"Xander the Vampire Slayer" - Adalisa
(If anyone could direct me to an updated link to Adalisa's site, that would be awesome)

"What it Feels Like for a Girl" - BeachBlondeBabe

Xander glared at Spike in abject horror. He knew the blonde vampire was evil, but to laugh when Xander had lost Xander Junior?

//Damnit. All this . . . . This sucks.//

\\Thanks, Brain. You're a big help.\\

//More'n you.//

\\Go to h-\\

"Umm . . . . Just a small disagreement about the party. She didn't want me to go, but I knew that I had to, for Dawn. She left in a huff, saying she was going to go visit some old friends." Xander went silent for a few moments, while the rest of the group caught on to Giles' point. Xander finally got the message. "Oh shit."

"You have no idea how sorry I am! Sorry doesn't even begin to cut it. I don't deserve to live! I deserve to - to -" Willow paused in her stream of babble to think of a punishment suitable for a crime of this nature.

"Be fed to Spike?" Spike chimed in hopefully. A chorus of "Shut up, Spike!" sounded, almost as one, from the entire room, Giles' male voice being drowned out by the now five female ones.

"Enh." All eyes turned on him. He worked hard to surpress a huge grin. "Not bad, I guess. You could fit in with the drag queens over in LA." He watched Xander's face fall, and he pushed aside the thought that maybe he felt a twinge of pain at the hurt in the boy's already sad eyes. Of course, that feeling became an *actual* pain as three hands swung at his head and connected. He growled in pain, and the other customers smirked as the rude Brit got what he deserved.

"What it Feels Like for a Girl" - BeachBlondeBabe

Warning, the following story contains a Spike and female Xander relationship.

"Anya's Turn" - Scorpio

None of the rest of the Scooby Gang offered to help. However, Buffy did inform him of his stupidity in trusting Spike with Anya's things. After a brief argument, she had shrugged and walked away with a comment about how it would be his fault if the blonde vampire did nasty things with Anya's unmentionables. Xander spent the next three days feeling off balance due to mental visions of Spike wearing Anya's lacy underthings.

"Anya's Turn" - Scorpio
((Thank me for this one. It took three years to track the link down))

Warning, the following story contains boy-on-boy of the Spike/Xander kind.

"Kitten" - Scorpio

Spike stared at the fledgling with a mixture of shock and admiration.

"Are you trying to tell me that you have an *entire* tribe of native warriors and hunters under your protection and that they *worship* you as some sort of cross between some mystical Cat Spirit and an evil Blood God?"

"Kitten" - Scorpio

"Twilight's End" - Scorpio

This started a huge argument in which Angel insisted that he'd *never* turn them, but if he *did*, he'd make them childer and *not* minions. I don't think that Wes or Gunn found that very reassuring.

"Twilight's End" - Scorpio

Warning, the following story contains boy-on-boy of the Spike/Xander kind.

"Friends" - Scorpio

Xander glared chocolate brown death rays from his eyes. Spike chuckled and wandered back over to the couch and his magazine.

"So, what's the witch 'ave planned for tonight? Demons? Poltergeists? Summoning spells? Kinky foursome?"

"Friends" - Scorpio

"Cornfields, Coffee, and Conciliation" - Bastard Snow

Willow leaned over and gave Xander a quick peck on the forehead. "You know, you're very cute when you're a sleepyhead. If I weren't a hot lesbian..."

"You'd be a hot straight girl," Xander said. "And I would be a much, much happier man right now."

"Hey, how did you rent this?" Xander asked. "You're not 25 and you didn't have Willow to magic you up a free pass."

"Fake I.D.," said Faith. "Nerdboy hooked me up. Kid's annoying, but he's got a sweet computer set up."

"Ah."

"Cornfields, Coffee, and Conciliation" - Bastard Snow

"Cold Coffee and Old Memories" - Bastard Snow

"Willow," Buffy said. "We beat the crap out of a hell-goddess. We went up against the First-frikking-Evil, and we came out of it alive. On the scale of powerful people? President doesn't seem quite as high as it used to."

"Cold Coffee and Old Memories" - Bastard Snow

"Knightfall" - DarkDyer

"If anyone should be worried, it's you Angel."

Confusion crossed Angel's face.

"And just why is that?"

"Let me see, I'm the injured friend, running the high fever that is probably affecting my judgment as I try to sacrifice myself for the greater good, you on the other hand, are the healthy, for a dead guy, EX- boyfriend, in full possession of his faculties, who is helping one of her best buds to his impending death."

Angel stared quietly at Xander for a minute, then moved to his side and pulling Xander's arm across his shoulders said, "Lean on me we'll make better time."

As the dust settled Angel turned to Xander with an expression the boy had never seen on his face before, at least not while he had his soul.

"Holy stupid grin, Batman, where do you get those wonderful toys?"

Angel laughed, "Look who's talking, what with you and that weird wrist,.,.,., thingy!"

Xander started to chuckle. "Did you just say thingy?"

"Knightfall" - DarkDyer

"Hunter" - Psyckosama

"What the bloody hell do you..." Ethan trailed off as he saw three teens, three teens whom he recognized as being part of Ripper's little crew, standing in the door way. His feelings of trepidation only increased when he saw that one of them, the kid he'd sold that plastic gun to during his Halloween escapade the previous year, was standing there holding a rather intimidating looking Battle Axe, and if his stance was anything to go by, was very familiar with it's use.

"We need to talk," Xander growled.

Rayne gulped and defensively raised his hands stepping back, not wanting to aggravate the nice young man with the sharp pointy weaponry.

It was an average night in Sunnydale California. The air was dry and warm, the stars twinkled in the clear skies like a million pin-pricks on a black light blackened field, and even from over a hundred miles distance, the luminescence of the City of Angels could be seen. In the middle of the graveyard, there was a flurry of activity and two young men tirelessly dug into a grave while a mousey young woman stood vigil with a crossbow in hand. In any other town, this would be highly odd, and highly disturbing. In Sunnydale, it was Saturday Night.

"You know," Xander remarked as he threw a shovel full of packed Earth over his shoulder, "Around here people usually spend their time trying to get out of graves and not into them."

"I'm okay..." Willow managed to mutter out, seeming a bit dazed and confused "How did you kill the Vamp?"

Xander blinked. "Yeah, I'd like to know that too... Oz, since when have you been a priest?"

Oz grinned, "Since Tuesday."

Xander blinked. "Since Tuesday?"

"Yeah... I'm a minister."

Xander blinked. "How did you pull that off?"

Oz grinned, "Replied to the Universal Life Church add in Rolling Stone Magazine. Got ordained."

"To bad we don't have boxes," Xander muttered to himself as they snuck along the hedge line.

"Boxes?" Oz wondered.

"Yeah," Xander replied, "Cardboard boxes."

"Cardboard boxes?" Willow questioned.

"Yeah," Xander replied, "A box can save your life."

Willow blinked and looked at Xander incredulously, "You're kidding me, right? Are you sure you're okay? Did you hit your head?"

"Listen," Xander snapped, turning around, "If there is one lesson I learned from Soldier Guy, it’s the value of a cardboard box. Wills, I'm not exaggerating when I say that how you use a cardboard box can mean the difference between success and failure, between life and death... Treat your box well, and it will treat you well..."

As Xander began to continue on, Oz and Willow paused to share a glance, both having trouble accepting Xander's declaration of the value of the common cardboard box as an infiltration aid. Shaking their heads in doubt, they then continued on, following their friend.

"Hunter" - Psyckosama

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