"Erm lemme check-" Duo hedged. He mouthed 'I don't lie!' but Heero had continued his furious hiss.
"I'm nowhere in the building! I don't have my cell or pager, I don't- I don't exist, ok?!"
Duo's mouth hung open for a few seconds until several sharp questions from the phone brought him back.
"Erm, 'Lena, sorry, he can't come to the phone right now, he's, er, having some sort of existential crisis. Call back later, 'K?"
"So make a big scene in some public place!"
"I don't like making a display of myself!"
"Yeah but I'm starting to think you like Relena a whole lot less."
"…A big scene, like…breaking a table in a restaurant with my fists?"
"(Sigh.) Yeah, I guess that might work. You can throw in a lot of yelling too."
"There certainly was a lot of yelling, though I didn't stick around for it."
"Restaurant. Political rally. Ran out of chairs."
"…and so you broke a table?" Damn, his temper has not improved!
"She tried to sit on my lap. I swear Duo that if that smile actually reaches your lips, I'll break your spine as easily as that goddamn table."
"Yes I told her that too, and she said that love shouldn't be a matter of gender. I told her in my case it was, and she said that I was a bigot and she would help me get past that."
"I've been thinking maybe you're right. I am violent, I probably do have problems." Duo exploded into a fit of laughter that nearly knocked him off his chair and made the candle on the next table over go out. Much to the relief of the patrons there who took advantage of the sudden darkness to make a run for the door.
"You've always said that you would take care of me, help me through my issues. Steady me. Well Duo needs steadying too," Duo had added a napkin to the puppet show. Apparently his braid puppet was trying to strangle it. "As his old partner and best friend, I'm glad to help him. But it would be nice if you could show me how it's supposed to be done, and maybe help us both for a few days. Right, Duo?"
Duo was looking at his braid's end fixedly. "Pretty…" he whispered.
"Did-did she really leave? I mean, leave you?" Duo was tough, but he'd just about reached his limits. His heart was thumping and squirming against his chest like a sack full of cats.
"Yes. She gave me a short speech that boils down to the fact that she is no longer interested in rehabilitating shell-shocked soldiers. At all. She was screaming at the end so I think she meant it."
"I wonder what clinched it. Sleep deprivation? The strip poker-solitaire? The whipped cream incident? The Shinigami episodes? The photos? 'Ninety-nine thousand bottles of beer on the wall'?"
"I think it was me reminding her that I'd promised your 'doctor' not to let you out of my sight for the foreseeable future."