Cold Love, Twisted Love, Sailor Ronin Usa-chan My Way, azure-chan Pushing the Sky, labellily Good Riddence, labellily The Cupid 500, labellily Gunslinger Moon, Josh Temple
Something cold slid across her brow over, and over again. At each pass, and as she managed to wake up more and more, she realized the movement was happening over her bruised forehead, and that a wet substance was gathering in its path. She forced her eyes to open and stared shocked at her captor. Of all the people to wake up to, why was it the scary psycho?
Farfarello paused in his work to take a step back and look at the shaking angel. He was of course aware that her body wouldn't stay up there for long. Her palms didn't have the support needed underneath those shiny now scarlet colored gloves. She would slide down and her flesh would rip, would tear as she fell just as if she had fallen from Heaven itself. Her wings had been splashed with deep red crimson. Her outfit and her shiny golden hair as well, all had been decorated with the angel's own blood. Even her lips and face had been stained with it as she had thrashed around wildly during his ministrations. Farfarello smiled in pure happiness as he looked upon his work. It was… beautiful, a masterpiece, his masterpiece.
Ken was not sure how he felt about Aya-kun talking to the cat. It was surreal. If Aya-kun could talk to it and see it didn't that mean it wasn't just a figment of his drugged mind? That the animal was actually real? "Where is this letter, Artemis?" he had a deal to keep. He would help this cat and was sure the animal would help him.
Crawford snapped the briefcase shut with two sharp metal clicks and nodded. "Everything seems to be, and with that I believe our business is concluded." He got to his feet and nodded at the silent members hiding in the dark. They always did let others make their decisions for them, and that included their current head Miss Mary Sue.
Hiiro studied Shenji while leaning against a tree with his arms crossed. This was going to take some work, he decided, since Shenji still obviously had the mentality that in his past life he had been a girl.
Hiiro sighed. "This is going to be a long month."
Usagi fought to not place her hands on her hips. "And what is ~that~ supposed to mean, ~Sir~?" she sneered sarcastically.
Hiiro ignored this. "A fighting stance is the position in which you place yourself to get a good hold of the fight. Like this." He crouched down low, hands placed in front of
him.Usagi giggled. "You look like an idiot."
"And you ~are~ an idiot. Now pay attention, ~student~." Hiiro smirked at Shenji’s offensed face.
Hiiro walked around Shenji in a slow circle, adjusting the boy here and there every second or so. "Good." Hiiro nodded. "Very good."
"Thanks, Cap’in." Usagi teased in a school-boy voice.
Deciding to ignore every statement that didn’t pertain to the training, Hiiro continued on. "Take the rest of the day off. See you tomorrow night."
"You're a prick!" She yelled loudly.
Hiiro almost fell out of the tree, caught himself, and glared full-force down at
Shenji.Usagi shrank back in fear. His gaze was so. . .heated.
"Do you know what that is?" He kept his voice tight.
She laughed. "Of course! A prick is something you get when you press your finger to a needle."
This time he ~did~ fall out of the tree. He landed on his feet, but glared down at Shenji. "Ask Quatre what it means before you use it anymore."
Usagi rolled her eyes. "I asked Duo a while ago. He told me what I told you. He even told me to use it on you."
Hiiro stored away a 'kill Duo Maxwell' in his mind before shaking his head. "Just ask Quatre what the ~other~ meaning is."
Quatre scrunched up his face. "If there's one thing about Shenji I'll always remember, it's how loud he can scream."
Trowa smiled. "I'll probably remember a lot more."
"He doesn't sit with us at lunch. I invited him yesterday, but he just turned his back and went to the gym to train. In fact, he's been in the gym during lunch ever since his training began with Hiiro."
"Ah." Trowa mused, watching Usagi kick and fall back, only to kick higher and straighter each time.
The blonde smiled. "Trowa, I'm pregnant."
"Ah-WHAT!?" Trowa whipped his head around to his laughing friend. "Quatre, you're not a female, are you?" He tensed, wondering if all of his so- called "male" friends were women in disguise.
Hiiro set up a dartboard that stood on legs. He held a shiny knife by its blade, reared his arm back and threw. The knife sliced cleanly through the air and hit its mark: the middle of the dartboard. "Now," He turned to Shenji, "you try."
She frowned at the knife in her hand. "You're dangerous." She declared, glaring at the knife. "You could kill somebody. You could kill ~me~. You could kill-"
"~Why~ are you talking to my knife?" Hiiro asked, exasperated. He had learned to expect anything weird from Shenji.
Usagi hopped up and down happily as she shot Duo again and again, not missing this time. She had caught him unaware, and she was having a helluva time. "Duo, stop moving!"
"You can stop now!" Duo yelled, running back and forth. "The bullets are hurting my ears, Shenji! STOP SHOOTING!"
She grinned wickedly, aiming for Duo's feet. "Dance for me, Duo!" She pummeled him with shots.
"I'll kill you for this!" Duo hissed. "Dead. You're dead, Shenji!"
My Way, azure-chan
“Come on now Genma, you know I swore not to sell my daughter like you were planning on doing. I married Kenji Tsukino. This is my daughter, Usagi. Usagi, this is Genma Saotome, an old friend of mine. Who are your friends?” she asked stiffly.
The redhead yanked the thing out of her mouth and threw it on the ground. “Why the hell did you duck, blondie? I would have caught it before letting it hit anyone else!” she shouted angrily.
Usagi paused in her mental workings and observed what was happening. Her nerves were shot. She had to learn piano. An annoyingly busty redhead was screeching at her. She had almost gotten trampled. She was in no mood to be nice.
“You got it where you deserved it,” she said sweetly, smiling warmly at her.
“Why you--!” she began, but never got finish because a man slammed a thick-looking book down over her head.
“NEVER DROP THE SACRED PAGES!” he roared in the already pained Ranma’s ear.
“Of all the stupid, ridiculous things,“ she began as she pushed off of her chair, “this is the worst!” she declared, sticking a fist high into the air. “I will suffer this injury no longer! In the name of True Love, Justice even for people like me, and the Truth of what they’ve told me all along, I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!”
Noticing that the busty redhead was hiding behind Shampoo’s chair looking completely unnerved, Usagi paused, lowered her fist, and then brushed off her skirt.
“I’ve just had a life-altering revelation. Pardon me for the interruption,” Usagi said absently, trying to work her new idea through the layers of mind-fuzz.
“Yeah, whaddo ya want?” he demanded with false bravado.
The man below looked taken aback. “Well, I wanted to know if your sister ever intended to help you down from that tree,” he said earnestly.
Shingo, forgetting his initial reservations, nodded. “Once I give her the answers to her questions, yeah.”
“What were her questions?” the man asked immediately.
“Uh… she wanted me to tell her why she was able to jump up here with me, whose orders she was following, and what she should do about it.”
The man pushed his glasses up his nose. “Then you’ve probably come to the conclusion that she’s Sailor Moon, correct?”
Dr. Tofu smiled in a pleased sort of way. “You will be treated to a healthy dose of complete and utter chaos. I promise that it will be good for you. And I dare say that you’ll learn to harness your energy better and affect your transformation, in case you wanted to say, make a debut as a different Senshi. So it’s a deal?”
Usagi, caught up in visions of parading around in a totally new uniform, she could only nod distractedly and take a piece of paper from him. She was only dimly aware of the fact that he was walking away, and as far as she was concerned, it would stay that way. The blonde was, however, brought roughly back to her senses by someone grabbing her arm and spinning her around.
There was a polite cough from behind them. Usagi whirled around and brought up a huge smile. “Hhhhiiiiiiiiii,” she said in a girly high-pitched voice. Realizing with horror what she sounded like, she cleared her throat and tried again. “Hey,” she said normally as she could.
Usagi gulped, and prepared to make the plunge. “Why are you wearing a dress… sir?”
The boy’s smile melted right from his face. “You can tell I’m a guy that easily, huh?” he said gloomily, smoothing the folds of his dress self consciously. “I know I shouldn’t go around wearing girl’s clothing,” he said, blushing a bright red, “but I just—“
Usagi waved her hands, laughing slightly. “Yeah, yeah, I got it. Now you just come with me, and I’ll make you look like a real girl! Say, what’s your real name?”
The blush got brighter. “Quatre,” he mumbled.
“Usagi dear, time for dinner! Oh! I didn’t know you had a friend over! My, I didn’t know you had such a pretty friend! Is she going to marry a rich man as well?”
Usagi sighed. “Mom, I’m really actually going to marry for love, not money!”
Ikuko clucked disappointedly. “That, my dear, is unwise. Oh! I’ve completely forgotten myself! Who’s your little friend?”
The blonde girl froze. “Uhm,” she said clearly.
Quatre stood up gracefully. “I’m Rumiko Hayaska, pleased to meet you,” he said with a small bow.
“What the fuck do you want, Mamoru?”
The man’s jaw dropped open, and he climbed swiftly into her room. “What the hell are you doing, telling people my identity?”
“Because there’s only one guy in all of Tokyo who would go around climbing trees and knocking on their ex girlfriend’s windows before dinnertime.”
Quatre’s face cleared. “Oh, you mean Mamoru Chiba! So this is him?”
The face behind the mask went white. “You mean…. People don’t see me as a romantic figure? And they know I’m Tuxedo Mask? How?”
Quatre’s eyes went wide. “You mean you’re the real Tuxedo Mask?”
Mamoru scowled and tore the mask off his face. “Yes, I am! What else did you think?”
The blonde boy went pink. “Well, everyone knows that there’s this guy who comes up to Usagi Tsukino’s window at night dressed like Tuxedo Mask. And since she always promptly makes out with him, we can only hope it’s her boyfriend, Mamoru Chiba. News like this travels pretty fast around Tokyo.”
Usagi and Quatre peeked back inside.
“Is it safe now?”
Kenji scowled dangerously. “Damn straight it is. No pervert’s going to lay their hands on either of my two princesses,” he growled dangerously before stalking out of the room.
Usagi and Quatre exchanged a look. “Two princesses?” Quatre mouthed in confusion. Usagi giggled silently and shrugged.
“I guess my family’s taken to you, my dear Rumi. Here’s to chaos!” Usagi yelled happily, thrusting out her hand.
“To chaos!” Quatre echoed, giving her a high-five.
“Holy shit,” she muttered darkly.
Quatre (who Usagi had managed to bounce onto the roof) cupped his hands around his mouth. “You alright?”
Usagi coughed again and waved a hand dismissively. “Oh yeah, I’m great! Just great,” she said, dragging herself to her feet. “Great,” she repeated. “Great like going on a mass murdering spree.”
“I heard that, you know,” Quatre said conversationally.
It was three weeks after they had first met, and so far life as idyllic. Dr. Tofu hadn’t demanded her presence. Magic hadn’t really been incorporated in with piano yet— they were all still learning how to read music. Ranma had been strangely silent lately. Not that she minded, of course. It was just a little unnatural. Quatre Rabera Winner (becoming known as Rumiko Winner, however) was like a slightly bizarre extension of her family. Usagi was just beginning to get used to the feeling of walking inside and seeing a cross dressing pretty boy sitting on her couch and chatting merrily with her mother.
Shingo came around the back yard right in time to see Quatre slam into the studio wall. He opened his mouth, thought better of it, and then sighed. Sisters were so weird. They’d never change, either. Four weeks before he never could have pictured his sister doing something so mildly suicidal as her current pastime, but hey. Weird shit happens. Live with it.
The girl smiled slightly. “Afraid? Jesus, Usagi, it’s me who should be afraid of you. You nearly killed me that last time, remember? Well, I suppose you can’t exactly forget. You can forgive me, however, for trying to rule the world. It was a worthy cause.”
Usagi’s blonde head tilted. “You wouldn’t happen to be wanting to try again, would
you?”Chaos laughed, but trailed off when she saw Usagi was totally serious. “You’re joking.”
Usagi shook her head. “I don’t want to do it by force, though, if you know what I mean. I think it would be much more fun to do it in kind of a battle of wits, you know?”
“Well this is certainly a change from what I expected. Hell, Chaos just dragged me along to make sure that you didn’t flip out and start trying to blow things up. Jesus Pete, Moon, we leave you by yourself for a summer and you decide you want to rule the world. What the hell,” he muttered.
Usagi raised an eyebrow inquiringly at Chaos, who smirked. “This is my guardian demon, Kaze. He’s quite a looker, isn’t he?”
The addressed blonde coughed. “I’ll decline from answering that, thank you,” she
muttered.Chaos laughed. “Good answer. I’d have killed you, otherwise. He is mine, after all.”
“I am here, you know, and would really appreciate it if you acted so,” he said in annoyance.
“I think he feels insecure,” Usagi whispered confidingly to Chaos, who laughed.
Quatre grinned. “Yeah, sure! I was supposed to play video games with Shingo sometime anyway. Now he’ll stop bugging me! Finally! I CAN SLEEP IN PEACE!” he said ecstatically, clasping his hands under his chin.
Shampoo raised an eyebrow. “You have got to be the best cross-dresser I have ever seen in my entire life,” she said, sounding very impressed with Quatre’s skills.
"So how’d you get so good?”
Usagi’s hand shot up into the air. “I helped him!” she yelled happily.
Shampoo was startled into laughing. “I shouldn’t be surprised, I guess,” she said laughingly. “God Usagi, your life is kind of… bizarre. I mean, really. Between magic pianos and creating women out of your male friends— do you ever even have time to sleep?”
Upon sighting the setup they had, Shampoo stopped dead in her tracks.
“What the hell is this?”
Usagi and Quatre looked at Shampoo uncomprehendingly. “It’s just how we’ve been entertaining ourselves all day,” Usagi said, wounded. “Don’t you think it looks fun?”
“It looks suicidal!”
“But exciting, right?”
“But fun, right?” Quatre chimed in.
“Join us,” Quatre and Usagi said together, their voices melting eerily together.
A look of total horror dawned on Shampoo’s face. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Mom, do I have to? Usagi and her new friends are scary,” he whined.
Ikuko smiled gently at him. “Yes, but Usagi’s new friends are much better than her old ones, don’t you agree? I haven’t seen them around all summer! What wonderful times,” she said with a pleased smile.
Ikuko, ignoring Shingo’s obvious delight, smiled brightly at Usagi. “Oh, no, my dear! It’s not a conspiracy at all! I admit, your grandfather and I did discuss the possibility of you gaining new friends and ignoring and neglecting your old ones, but we didn’t really push you to do it. You did it all by yourself. Now, we have pancakes for breakfast!”
Quatre started, and then cleared his throat. “He’s very conservative, and would most likely try to assassinate me if he found out what I was doing. That’s why I’ve been staying over here,” he said, bowing his head shamefacedly. “I’m sorry if I’m a bother,” he said
meekly.There was a long silence, which was finally broken by Ikuko sniffling. “I’ll bet this is a soap episode. How tragic! No, no, no my dear girl, you’re not a bother at all! You can even live here if you wanted to! And you Shampoo! And everyone! We’ll be a huge happy family! Oh, it’ll be grand!”
The three girls looked at each other and burst out laughing.
Then someone knocked on the door.
“SHUT UP!” Shingo roared.
They both stared at him and then retreated. Shingo just sat there in total shock. He had just vocalized his first Man Roar. HE WAS GROWING UP!!! HE WAS BECOMING A MAN! Happy tears streamed down his face as he stuffed more pancakes into his mouth. His manly mouth. Damn, he was good.
“Is that your car?” Shampoo suddenly gasped, jabbing a finger at the little black sports car. The three looked back to see what she was pointing at, and then looked aback at Shampoo with worry. She was beginning to froth at the mouth.
Usagi gave Shampoo an experimental push. “Er… Shampoo-chan? Is anyone in there?”
“Can I touch it?” the Chinese girl asked dazedly, totally ignoring her blonde friend. “We need to get to the Tendo dojo in Nerima, and we’re super late and oh god if I got to sit in that car—“
“We can give you a ride. I needed to talk to Usagi anyway,” Chaos said with a tiny frown as she began to back away from Shampoo, who was looking like maybe she was about to hyperventilate.
“OOOOOOOH MY GOOOOOOOOOOD!” Shampoo screamed, dashing for the car. Once she got there she put her arms as far as they could go around it and sighed blissfully.
“You know,” Kaze said finally, “you have some really weird friends, Usa-chan.”
“Okay, okay, okay!” Usagi yelled laughing. “I’m sorry even suggested the possibility. Well then here it goes. AHHHH! Look what I taught myself to do. Okay, normally I say “Moon Eternal Power” but that’s really dumb, don’t you think? Sooooo. I taught my crystal how to respond to this!”
“LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!”
Then there was a ripple of power, and ESM was standing before Ranma, looking very pleased with herself. Ranma coughed slightly and tried to take her eyes away from Usagi’s costume.
Pushing the Sky, labellily
"I made up a costume that I think you should see," she announced. "Consider it my apology for leaving you all to your trigger happy self."
"If you ever run off like that *ever* again, I'm going to be forced to kill you," he said solemnly.
Good Riddence, labellily
"I have to say," he said finally, "you two DO provide us with enough entertainment. You're twenty two and twenty three. Will you and your man ever grow up?"
Motoki was silent for a few seconds, and then he nodded. "Sounds good to me. But you said that to her and then let her get into her car?"
It wasn't like she was going to stay dead if they killed her.
"God wouldn't help you if you had him at knifepoint. Look down. He might help you, Yohji-kun"
Usagi stared at him in surprise, and then laughed even harder. "Yohji, we are the spawn of the Devil, now I'm sure! To be enjoying the revenge we're getting! We're going to Hell," she informed in solemnly.
"If this is how I get there, will you let me fly first class?"
"I'm here because I want to get revenge on Duo. I just need to take all of your clothes. Just come over to my house tomorrow morning, and I'll give you something to wear. But if I leave clothes here, Duo will be able to get them, and I don't want that. Okay?"
"Yes, I know it's a cruel and unusual punishment. But did you hear how he broke up with me?"
"No? It was bad. Will you be a good brother and let me do what I have to do?"
"I completely agree," Wufei said pushing past the three into Usagi's house. "I say that you should kidnap him, tie him to a block of ice and whip him three hundred times."
The part that she neglected to mention was that after she refused to use the Triple Beam, the Gizuinshou had felt disappointed. Put off. Cheated of a good time. So either she was really going crazy, or her crystal was developing a sick, horrible taste of what to do to enemies.
Diamond shrugged again and took the bouquet of black roses. "I kidnapped her when she was fourteen and tried to kill her daughter. Then I saved her life, so she owes me big time," he said nonchalantly.
He swept out the door, leaving poor Omi to wonder how the hell he seemed to meet all the crazy people in life, not excluding Miss Usagi "Let's Get Revenge On My Last Boyfriend" Tsukino.
The two twined their fingers together and Usagi rested her head on his shoulder again. It really would have been a beautiful picture, except for that Usagi and/or Yohji would cackle evilly from time to time.
"He boasted that he could tell a girl by their legs. Ken-kun and I tested him by taking a magazine of well known models and stars and ripping their legs off. Then we showed them to him and he went all weepy about how we "ripped poor Jennie Lopez's legs off", or we "dismembered little Christina Ricci". It was really very entertaining."
"She must have moved a lot," Kunzite murmured back.
"It's just a theory."
"We lovingly call it the Pandemonium Theory," Jadeite whispered. "It means that the more you move, the more happens to you."
Usagi froze in the midst of disappearing under the table. “I am,” she said finally, “escaping so I can have one goddamn dance with that VERY UPSET MAN OVER THERE!” she shouted, waving an arm at the man.
They all turned and looked at him. He was just standing there. Apparently something tragic happened very suddenly, because he began to sob hysterically. A look of true sadness overcame Usagi’s fairy-like features.
“See? This is all making him cry, and I feel that I need to set this to rights. Now,” she added meaningfully
Usagi blinked, and rubbed her eyes. Yuu put her down, and grinned widely at her. "I love... being," he said happily, waving an all-encompassing arm at the throng around them.
"You're a bloody genius," she said in awe. He was now her god. "Would you mind terribly if I built an altar to you?" she asked breathlessly.
“I already tried that,” he let her know.
“Just checking,” Usagi mumbled, jiggling the tool around in the slot. And then she spontaneously burst into the chorus of “It’s All Been Done” by the Barenaked Ladies, which was... an absolutely ancient band from at least seven hundred years before. He obviously had to marry her.
The Cupid 500, labellily
"Then why did you bother to make an upgrade template for it?" Courtney asked, utterly confused.
"Tonoda wanted to use the Ginzuishou's power to fire the Cosmic Reaver prototype antimatter cannon, so he built a template for the queen, too."
Courtney stared. "He actually BUILT one of those!"
Courtney twitched. "An ICICLE CANNON?"
Yuhamaro sweatdropped. "Tonoda's been REALLY excited about this project. And he rarely comes to work completely sober."
"So what'd Tonoda cook up for this one? He seems to love the experimental items."
"That he does," the scientist agreed, sighing. "He calls it 'Rain', and it's best if I don't try to explain the orbital satellites..."
Courtney nodded, frowning. "So where's Saturn's upgrade template?"
"Sailor Saturn possesses the greatest raw power of any of the Senshi," Yuhamaro deadpanned. "Tonoda snatched her blueprints up and I haven't seen them since."
The combat expert sweatdropped. "Uh... do you have any guns bigger than that 'Cosmic Reaver' thing?"
"Oh, believe me, he can design his own."
Yuhamaro grit his teeth. "Why are they doing this! The whole point of Surge is to upgrade the templates to REMOVE wasteful initiation sequences like attack phrases and elaborate movements!"
Tonoda shrugged. "True. But at least they're paying us more attention now."
"THIS IS THE WRONG KIND OF ATTENTION!"
The weapons scientist growled and turned toward his computer. "They can mock my work all they wish, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let those snotty princesses interfere with it!"
"Well, you could just put a pressure trigger on a napalm charge and then tell Venus to test the bomb by hugging it."
"Oh…" Sailor Moon paused in thought. "That would have been bad."
"Yes, it would," Luna agreed.
"I mean, my gun only holds twelve bullets. There was a lot more passed-out people than that."
"No! Bad magical girl!" Luna said as she took a swipe at the blonde's head. "You do not shoot zombified people!"
"I'll tell you after we finish. It's pretty dang strange."
"Stranger than magical girls with guns?" Usagi whispered.
"Hmm… Yeah, I think so."
"Does it have to do with the weird girl-girl relationship your dad's cooked up?"
"Yeah, pretty much."